


Beyond the Sun

by AerisLei



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abuse, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Death Threats, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injury, M/M, Nightmares, aquarium trip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2018-11-10 01:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11116698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AerisLei/pseuds/AerisLei
Summary: Post-Season one finale. Viktor Nikiforov and Katsuki Yuuri are living together in St. Petersburg. Things seemed to be okay at first but ghosts from Viktor's past make a surprising resurgence during the off-season.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I spell Victor's name as Viktor. It's entirely reflexive and would take so much editing to stop doing at this point soooo yes. I'm hoping this is as coherent to read as it is in my head, because there are several plot threads that all tie together, but they may not all seem perfectly relevant at times. I look forward to comments etc and seriously if something doesn't come across as making sense let me know so i can fix it. ><

_Yuuri?_  
_Yuuri where are you?_  
_Yuuri?_  
_Are you okay?_  
_Yuuri please text me back._  
_Yuuri please..._

There were half a dozen texts over the span of a few minutes. Yuuri frowned at the screen of his phone. “Why didn’t you tell me it was going off?” He glanced at the blonde who rolled his eyes.

“Didn’t think it was important.” Yurio retorted.

“It was…. Viktor.” Shaking his head Yuuri walked away from Yurio and Yakov, intensely feeling like something was wrong. The Japanese skater wasn't sure why he couldn't shake that feeling, but he decided to go ahead and answer Viktor and try to do damage control. 

_Sorry I didn’t respond. I was on the ice - Yuri didn’t tell me the phone was buzzing._

He texted back easily, but didn’t return to the others.

_Call me.  
_

Something about that text sent a chill through Yuuri, and he dialed Viktor’s contact immediately.

“Viktor what’s wrong?”

“I just...needed to hear your voice.”

His tone was strange, Yuuri thought. “I wasn’t gone that long.”

“I woke up and you were just gone!”

It was snappier than usual. Yuuri frowned, and was quiet for a moment, deciding how to respond. “I just went down to the rink. I didn’t think you’d mind.”  
“You don’t know Russian, you don’t know your way around the city. You could have been hurt.”

“Viktor… what’s wrong, honestly? It’s not like I haven’t traveled before and made my way to practice without a bodyguard.” Pausing “I did it for two weeks while you were in France, even. What has you so freaked out?”

It was Viktor’s turn to be quiet. “I don’t know.” Came the eventual answer. Yuuri’s frown deepened. And he pretended not to notice Yakov’s slightly sharp glare from across the rink.

From the outside, this looked sudden. But Yuuri knew otherwise. Viktor had been acting strange almost since Yuri had come to St. Petersburg with him. And it had only gotten worse after Viktor came back from a few days out of the country on an ad shoot for one of his sponsors.  Whatever had happened in France, it had left Viktor shaken.

Yuuri worried about him. Viktor was taking this terribly, whatever it was, and the anxiety made him clingy - and snappy. Nevermind it rubbed Yuuri’s own anxiety raw to constantly be worrying about Viktor.

“Are you skating or not, Katsuki.” Yakov’s voice was sharp. Yuuri waved him off for a moment.

“Viktor was that glass breaking?” Concern in his tone.  
Silence.  
“Vitya, answer me.” It was almost a command, but concern softened it, blurred it.  
“Yes.” Surprised, hurt.  
“Are you okay?”  
“It broke in my hand.”  
Gaging what he said carefully because Yakov was close.  
“Status?” It was something they’d established for Yuuri’s anxiety. He hoped Viktor would understand the question enough to answer it. Yuuri didn’t want to give anything away to Yakov without Viktor’s permission,  
“8.”

Brown eyes widened in surprise. “I’ll be home in a few minutes. Don’t hang up on me Vitya. I just need to change out of my skates.”  
“I won’t.”

Brown eyes met annoyed green ones. “I’m going back.”

“Is Vitya okay?”  
“I…” Yuuri trailed off as Viktor spoke again.  
“You can tell Yakov…. Whatever you would normally tell your own coach about your state.” Viktor seemed to have trouble forming the sentence.  
“Keep talking.” Yuuri’s attention had flicked back on the call. “About anything, recite poems or lyrics, even, if you want. Just let me know you’re there.”

Yuuri’s attention focused back on Yakov. “Something’s wrong. I don’t know what. He needs me home, so I’m going home.”

There was concern in the older man’s green eyes.

Yuuri could distantly hear Viktor talking to himself in Russian. It was not exactly what he’d hoped for, but it was enough. He knew the other was on the line and still at least sort-of with him.

Yuuri left then, not bothering to say more - there was nothing more to say. It was only a fifteen minute walk, and Yuuri ran it. Carefully weaving in and around people, some of whom were glaring something awful at him - but he didn’t care. Viktor was more important. That slightly lost murmuring in his ears left him on edge.

Once he had to stop for traffic, and during that time he spent a moment talking to Viktor quietly. He got only a minimal response - but it was a response, it was enough.

And then he was home. Makkachin was whining at the edge of the kitchen. Yuuri slipped passed him, repeating a firm command to “stay” and then he joined Viktor. Who was… sitting on the floor with his hand cradled slightly. He’d already gotten the glass out of the cut but…

“Stand up for me Vitya.” Quietly. “So I can finish cleaning it and get it bandaged.”

There was a dull nod from the silver haired man. Mechanically he stood.

Yuuri spent several moments cleaning the wound better, and then bandaged it. For the moment… it was enough. He considered the idea that it may need stitches. But he didn’t… think so.

And Yuuri also wasn’t sure Viktor would tolerate the emergency room very well. “Stay, you’re barefoot and I need to get up the rest of the glass.”

There was a murmur of protest, but Viktor didn’t move, he merely watched Yuuri. Yuuri made short work of the glass on the floor - it was extremely thin, it was plausible that it had been weak enough that Viktor managed to break it on accident.

Still, it worried Yuuri.  
  
“I didn’t mean it.” Softly, almost mournfully. “Please don’t be upset with me … it was an accident.”

They’d been watching a tv show. … Or well, it was on for background noise. Yuuri had been watching Viktor over the edge of his phone and Viktor had seemed to be staring off into space. It had only been an hour since Yuuri got back in from practice.

Yuuri’s brow furrowed slightly, raising his gaze to meet the bluegreen gaze of his partner. “I’m not angry with you Viktor.” Gently, soothingly. “I was just worried.” A pause, thoughtful. “Why would you think I was mad?”

“I was… you sounded upset. When I said I was worried about you.” Frowning a little. "And I broke the glass in the kitchen."

“I was frustrated at first, and then I realized something was wrong.” Shrugging. “It’s like… you’ve been smothering me since you got back from France. You won’t tell me what’s going on in your head … But it’s obviously a big deal.”

Viktor seemed to be retreating back into his headspace. Yuuri sighed. “I just wish you’d tell me… what happened or what you need. Or both.”

“I….” Viktor seemed to struggle with the words again. It was strange to watch, he was always so good with words … even when he was putting his foot in his mouth, so to speak. He was still good with words, if not occasionally overly-wordy. A frustrated noise. “I need to skate.” Finally.

It was not what he’d meant to say, Yuuri knew. But he nodded anyway. “Then we’ll go skate.” Yuuri wasn't entirely thrilled with it. But he could understand, could see why skating was something Viktor needed, even when his mind was too tangled with storms. Time, he needed time. That was what Yuuri told himself.

Yuuri was in no way surprised to see Yakov when they got to the rink. He nodded slightly at the Russian coach who seemed to be appraising Viktor who was skating lazy loops around the outer edge of the rink. He didn't particularly want to _talk_ to Yakov, but it was something that was probably inevitable in the long run.

“Well?”

Yuuri didn’t respond, at first. Then he shrugged. “Viktor said he needed to skate. So here we are.” Yuuri understood better than most that sometimes the only thing to do when Viktor’s mind wouldn’t settle was letting him skate it out. Yuuri knew and understood because his own mind was often the same.

“Yuuri come skate Aria with me!” Viktor came over to lean against the rink edge between Yakov and Yuuri.  
“Are you sure?” Frowning.  
“Of course I am. I enjoy watching you skate it in the video after all.”

Yuuri couldn’t help flushing pink. “Give me a second to get my skates back on.” A pause. “But you almost never skate something so old.”

“It’s nice for practice sometimes” Viktor shrugged. “Besides, my short program for this season isn’t ready yet.” He winked.

For the first time since France, Viktor seemed to be acting almost normal. It was a relief, but only sort of. Yuuri crossed the ice with Viktor and the two of them settled into the opening stance - mirroring one another.

They skated together - weaving in and out of one another but never managing to be in the way. There was something visually appealing in the way they skated together, in the way their hearts beat as one. As if, for a moment, the world didn’t exist - there was nothing for either of them but each other. They ended - the closing stance different, closer to the way they had ended in the exhibition skate. Face to face, hands linked together. Viktor leaned forward slightly, resting his forehead against Yuuri’s.

“Thank you for skating with me.” The words were half-breathless. A reminder that Viktor’s stamina was still not quite what it once was.

Yuuri merely smiled before leading the way off the ice. He tossed Viktor a water bottle and sat down, not quite looking at Yakov.  “I’d wondered if you would mind me reinterpreting that program.” Thoughtfully.  
“Oooh?” Viktor sounded intrigued. “Thinking of using the piece this year?”  
“Mm. I don’t know. I’ve just… I have a feel for a program, almost. I haven’t wanted to work on it without talking it over with you first.” Worrying the lace on his skate absently.  
“You should.” Viktor said firmly. “Maybe Duetto instead, like you used for the exhibition. Whichever you prefer.” Mildly. “But if you have something in mind you absolutely should see if you can get it to solidify.”  
Yuuri nodded. “I should have... known you’d say that.”  
Viktor laughed a little. “You should have.” He agreed. “It’s the first interest you’ve shown in choosing your own music or setting up your own program since that lovely free skate” Smirking, slightly. “It served you well.”  
Yuuri nodded a little. He supposed it had. “You really don’t mind me using the same piece you did?”  
“Why should I? It’s hardly rare. Besides, even when you skate the exact program I choreographed to it, you make it your own. I have no doubts that whatever you bring to the ice this year will be memorable.”

Frowning. “On the other hand, it won’t surprise anyone.” Not really, at least.  
“So you pick something vastly different for your free skate.” Shrugging. “There’s nothing wrong with skating something close to your heart, sometimes. You just also have to grow, Yuuri.”

Yuuri nodded. “Right. I just… have to grow.”  
Viktor smiled indulgently. “Will you skate what’s in your head? Just once?”

Yuuri nodded slowly, and skated back out to the center of the ice. Viktor pressed play after finding his old disk with Aria on it. And Yuuri began to skate.

Viktor could see the differences in movement immediately. The interpretation. This was not his performance, though there were threads of Viktor’s work with Yuuri in it - this was wholly Yuuri’s program. … How on earth could Yuuri have thought that Viktor would say no to this? There were jumps - though they were all extremely downgraded - nothing more than a double. It worked to tell the story though, Viktor could see what Yuuri had in his mind’s eye.

How was it that Yuuri truly didn’t believe in his ability to choreograph by himself when this was what he came up with? He found himself watch intently, tapping his lip with one long finger.

Yuuri stilled as the music ended, and then skated over. “...That bad?” He mumbled.

“Bad?” Viktor sounded confused. “That was very nice. … Sure there are things that need a little improvement but… “ Shrugging. “Considering you haven’t let yourself work on it at all, that’s a very nice program.”

“O-oh.” Yuuri seemed surprised. His cheeks flushed slightly pink in response to the praise.

The relief of their afternoon on the ice wore off once they were back home. On the walk back Viktor had returned to being oddly pensive and more than half distracted. Yuuri had to physically stop him from walking out in front of a moving vehicle due to said distraction. “Viktor!” He hissed, obviously terrified.

He wanted more than anything to just hold Viktor’s hand the rest of the way home. In part because it seemed to ground him and in part because if Yuuri was holding onto him it would be easier to keep him from getting hurt. But… that was a bad idea. Such a bad idea. “Stay with me a little will you? We’re almost home….” That was quieter.

Viktor managed to stay mostly alert the rest of the walk home. “I’m going to shower.” Came the older man’s voice.

Yuuri nodded. “Okay, I’ll take out Makka.” Thankful, in some ways, that Viktor was just going to stay in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was just SO MUCH in this chapter when I wrote it, when I read it the first time. But idk somehow it feels kind of flat now that I'm getting around to posting it? I hope it's okay. I'll do better next time.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been two weeks since the incident in the kitchen, two weeks since Viktor almost got himself hit by a car. Two weeks, and things were almost normal again. Viktor still hadn’t shared what had gotten into him, but he was acting more normally. Yuuri didn’t like not knowing - but this was better than it had been. Normalcy was nice, and it had mostly soothed the Japanese skater’s anxiety. 

Life was settling into a pattern - of practice and coaching and too much time with the Russian rink mates who were like a family that didn’t know what to do with him. Yuri was perhaps the only one who was really used to him - and they bickered as they always did. But Yuuri knew they bickered because Yurio cared. Meanwhile Popovich was Viktor’s age and frankly acted more like he was Yuri’s. Mila was only sort-of better - but at least she had the excuse of only being barely 19.

Still, the pattern was nice. Normal was nice. Or at least, it had been. Yuuri was sitting on the bench at the rink, drinking some water while Viktor worked through his short program again. Normally Yuuri would have been watching, would have wanted to be able to offer something in conjunction with Yakov’s comments, occasionally even in contradiction with them. But… instead Yuuri was distracted. He was frowning rather deeply at the Cyrillic characters that had come through on a message to one of his social media accounts. Ugh. How many times had Viktor told him not to check his phone at the rink?

Still he already had, and something told him this wasn’t something he was going to want to just dismiss. Hm. He considered his options as Yurio flopped onto the other end of the bench, drinking from his own water bottle. He’d been working on dance elements that morning and hadn’t made it to the ice yet.

“I hate to ask this Yuri…”  
Plisetsky frowned. “Then why are you piggy?”  
Despite the demeaning term, Yuuri didn’t take it badly. “I just want to know what this says, and I don’t want to ask Viktor.” He held his phone up so the younger skater could see the Russian text, before he started rambling about why he didn’t want to tell Viktor or what about it made him feel like he needed to know what was being said.

“The gist is …. Not particularly attractive. Where did you find this?” Wary.  
“Just tell me what it means.”

“It’s a lengthy death threat directed toward someone who likes the same sex.”

Yuuri paled, just slightly.  “...doesn’t that say… blue though?” Yuuri didn’t recognize many of the words, but… that had seem innocent enough, and he’d been hoping that he’d been misreading the strange undercurrent to it. One that was not unfamiliar, if frustrating.

“It does.” Yuri confirmed, his tone uncharacteristically smooth. “But in context it’s slang for gay. … Really negative slang.” A pause. “So where did you find it, stupid.”

“... My messages.”

Green eyes narrowed. “You’ve got to tell Viktor.”  
“I don’t want to upset him. It was sent anonymously… it’s not the first time I’ve gotten trouble for being what I am.” A pause. “Besides, he’s finally starting to calm down again, I don’t want to put him on edge.”  
“He’s going to flip out if he finds out you didn’t tell him.”  
“Would _you_ tell him?” Yuuri snapped back.  
Plisetsky growled low in his throat. “It’s not the same!”

Yuuri wanted to ask why not. Wanted to ask why if Yurio wouldn’t tell him he should. Honestly it’d be better to ignore it, to brace himself and not worry until he had to. Upsetting them both would solve nothing, and Viktor was supposed to be getting ready to re-qualify for the Grand Prix. He would, of course, there was no way he wouldn’t. But… regulations said he still had to qualify since he’d skipped last year.

“What are you two bickering about?” Yakov’s gruff voice came from one side.  
“Yuuri is getting death threats.” Flatly.  
“Plisetsky.” Frustrated, Yuuri couldn’t help but snap slightly.  
“This isn’t something you can just pretend isn’t happening.” The blond snapped back.  
“It’s not serious.”  
“Last time someone didn’t take it seriously-”  
“Yura. Enough.” Yakov’s voice cut across sharply.

“It was one threat.” Yuuri fidgeted under the second pair of sharp eyes. It was different, dealing with Yakov, than it was dealing with the angry Russian Skater. He knew what to expect from Yurio but Yakov… was different. Willing himself to be calm in case Viktor’s attention strayed from the program to their cluster, Yuuri continued. “I’ll text a couple of my friends, have them look through public comments on my social media, see if there’s anything else. I’m not going to freak out over one message sent by some guy hiding behind an anonymous account. I’m not going to freak Viktor out over something harmless. I will tell him in my own time. Don’t you dare go over my head about this.” The last was mostly for Yurio - it wasn’t like Yuuri expected he could order Yakov around. No, he could only hope that the Russian coach would respect his request.

“I have to side with Yura on this.” Yakov said. “You should tell Viktor.”

Yuuri didn’t comment, instead he crossed the space to the edge of the rink, and sent off a text message to Phichit to please look through his social media for anything resembling a code green, with special attention to Cyrillic. He knew his friend would recognize the phrasing. And then he took his guards off and joined Viktor on the ice.

Viktor flashed him a blinding smile, but the returned smile from Yuuri was weak at best. He skated along the outer edge, keeping out of the way while also warming up. It wasn’t long before Viktor joined him at the edge of the rink. “You okay?” The older Russian asked in a mild sort of tone. Yuuri knew him well enough by now to know that beneath that mild tone was an undercurrent, an ocean of emotion and thoughts that weren’t directly revealed - and didn’t have to be.

Yuuri nodded. “Just … a little anxious.”  He admitted, and it wasn’t a lie. And because it wasn’t a lie, he didn’t allow himself to feel guilty for saying it.

Viktor frowned a little, but nodded. “Try to relax a little. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Yeah, Yuuri wanted to believe that, really. But he couldn’t help but think about what Yuri had said before being cut off. Last time someone hadn’t taken it seriously what? What had happened? What was Yurio so worried about?

“I’d like to see you skate Aria today if you’re up to it.” The fact that Viktor meant Yuuri’s own arrangement for the song went unspoken.

Yuuri nodded distantly and skated toward the center of the practice rink.

It wasn’t good. Yuuri tried, honestly he did. But his headspace was so loud. Yuri hadn’t even fully translated it for him and he was seriously disconcerted by it. What in the world was he going to do? Were they right? Maybe they were. He resolved to wait for Phichit’s response to the code green, but his stomach half roiled thinking about it.  
  
Even with the low grade jumps he had trouble landing them. His heart pounding in his head - thundering in his ears until he couldn’t hear the song. He stumbled badly coming out of his spin, and the axel was worse, both hands touching the ice.

Yuuri sat there for a minute, not rising even though nothing really hurt other than his pride.  Eventually he returned to the edge of the rink.

“I… haven’t seen you skate like that in a while.” Viktor sounded concerned, genuinely so.

“I should have skated longer to try and clear my head. Sorry.” Dipping his head slightly.

“I didn’t mean to rush you.” Frowning.

“You didn’t. You said do it if I felt up to it.”

Yuri’s shoulder slammed into Yuuri’s, knocking him back a bit from the rink edge - and Viktor. “Tell him you stupid pig.” Under his breath, before skating off without so much as seeing if Yuuri was okay.

One silver eyebrow arched upward. Yuuri shrugged slightly and stepped out of the rink. “You know how he is.” Was all Yuuri said. Phichit hadn’t answered yet, except to send a confirmation that he’d look into it. That was great, but it didn’t really abate his anxiety or settle his nerves. It didn’t help, and it meant he didn’t know what to say to Viktor just yet, either.

“Would you be terribly upset if I just did a little bit of dance instead of skating more today?” He looked uncomfortable asking.

Viktor tilted his head slightly to one side, obviously still worried. “Of course not, Yuuri.” A pause. “Though I wish you’d tell me what you’re upset about.”

Yuuri resisted the urge to snort that that - because Viktor was oh so good at sharing. He didn’t say it though. “I will, later.” He said finally, his tone making it a promise. And then he changed out of his skates and left the rink, retreating to one of the other rooms.

“I don’t suppose you know what’s going on.” Eyeing Yakov.

For a moment Yakov seemed to consider that before shaking his head. “Not really, Vitya. Only that he and Yura were arguing about it. I’m sure he’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

Viktor considered trying to get it out of Yuri and decided it was a lost cause for the moment. He’d wait and hope that Yuuri eventually told him. Or maybe he’d just question Yuuri when they got home.

Yuuri rejoined him on the rink after lunch, though he was not any better on the ice. It was Viktor who suggested they just go home early. It was rare, but by then Viktor was having trouble concentrating on his own skating because he was so worried about whatever it was that was driving Yuuri into his own head.

By the time they’d gotten home Phichit had texted back with news Yuuri would have preferred not to hear. Even google translate garbled russian gave the impression of extreme negativity. Phichit had said that if there was anything direct at all it should be taken seriously. Phichit was worried, wanted to get authorities involved already. That told Yuuri a lot about how bad it really was.  “We should probably talk.” He said, hesitantly, not looking at Viktor.

Viktor looked up from the book he’d been reading, a rather heavy frown on his lips. “Okay.” He seemed to be steeling himself for the worst. Yuuri could hear him mark the page in the book and set it down on the coffee table. Could feel Viktor’s full attention settle upon him. It was a strange sensation, having everything that Viktor was settle intensely on him.

Even so Yuuri was silent for a moment, clearly at a loss for how to share the information. Finally Yuuri huffed slightly and pulled out his phone, deciding to just… do what he had with Yurio since he couldn’t manage to find his words. There were too many words in his head, too much haze that made it impossible for him to formulate what he wanted to say in English.

Finally he handed Viktor the phone, having opened it up to the Cyrillic message that had started this all that morning. “Read. Might make sense then.” He managed, stiffly. It was all he could say, all he could manage around the anxiety that coiled in his chest.

And then he sat down on the edge of the couch furthest from Viktor and tried to focus on his breathing. Distantly he was aware of the fact that Viktor had gone stiff, so much so that anger was nearly radiating from the older skater. It didn’t make Yuuri feel better, though logically he knew it wasn’t directed at him. Or at least… he hoped it wasn’t. Suddenly Yuuri was having to wrestle with anxiety taking that and running with it. Of course Viktor was mad at him, he was so upset about this stupid message that he couldn’t even talk right. Why wouldn’t Viktor be angry?

“Is this the only one?” The Russian asked finally, sounding almost unsettlingly calm. One part of Yuuri was relieved that Viktor was taking this somewhat calmly, because he wasn’t sure he could handle Viktor in a full temper. But another part of him was only made more uncomfortable by the muffled reaction.

Yuuri couldn’t find the words to answer that, either. So he just shook his head and swallowed tightly, willing himself not to cry. It was silly, really. They were just words. They were just words from someone hiding behind internet anonymity, chances were nothing would happen. But, Yuuri couldn’t necessarily control the waves of emotion that made it difficult to breathe.

“This is what you and Yura  were arguing about earlier?”

Yuuri nodded this time. “Yurio thought I should tell you. I didn’t… want to worry you if it was nothing but … it wasn’t the only one.” He managed to grind out despite still feeling vaguely like he was suffocating. It wasn’t a good excuse, it sounded so incredibly hollow after saying it to Viktor.

“I’m glad you told me.” Viktor said quietly, and then he slid across the space separating them and hugged Yuuri. He seemed distant, somewhere away in his head. Yuuri didn’t like it, really, but leaned into the hug anyway, concentrating on keeping his breathing even with Viktor’s.

“Vitya?” In a small voice.  
“Hm?”  
“Yurio said… something that I was wondering about.”  
“You can ask.” He still sounded a little distant.  
“He said… something about last time someone didn’t take it seriously….” Frowning. “But Yakov cut him off.”  
Viktor’s expression went a bit dark. “That skater almost died.” Flatly, without elaborating any further.

Yuuri wanted to ask who, wanted to know if it was someone he’d known. But something in Viktor’s expression stopped him. It was rare that Yuuri found himself close to a line Viktor wouldn’t let him cross, but this time… this time he thought he had. It was a strange, unsettling feeling. As if he’d come right up to the edge of the person that Viktor let everyone see, and was nearly beneath the surface, had nearly uncovered the darker part of his mind that almost everyone had and few were allowed to see. It was hard to imagine Viktor _having_ a side like that, but… those cerulean eyes certainly held darkness.

“Vitya...” After several moments of quiet.  
“Do you still want to know what happened in France?” The sentence came out abruptly, interrupting whatever-it-was that Yuuri had been about to say.

“If you’re ready to tell me.”

“I saw my father.”

Yuuri looked confused, felt confused. Father? Hm. No one ever said anything about Viktor’s family, not in all the time he’d been watching Viktor’s career. “I…” He trailed off before managing to put the thoughts into words. Sort of watching Viktor as if to see if he’d elaborate further. He didn’t want to ask too many questions, didn’t want to push Viktor too far and find himself shut out.

“I haven’t seen or talked to him since I was 12.” There was that undercurrent of darkness again.

  
“Why?” Yuuri said without thinking, It was hard for him to fathom a broken up family after his own was always so supportive  
  
The darkness flashed in Viktor’s eyes and Yuuri saw him seeming to war with himself. It wasn’t surprising, exactly, he’d known as he said it that the question was unfair, that it was too much. But Viktor seemed to be deciding on if he’d let Yuuri passed this new chasm between them.

“Because he threw me through a plate glass window.” The wall had been lowered and the gap bridged, and Yuuri realized that he was perhaps closer to Viktor’s real persona than most ever got. The darkness beneath the ever-present cheer. It set off a swirl of questions that Yuuri didn’t ask. Viktor’s home life… had clearly been nothing like his own.

Injuries were so much a constant in the skating world that even having seen scars on Vitya’s body, having seen the marks that told stories Viktor never spoke of, he hadn’t considered what they were from. “I told Yakov I tripped and fell through it. He didn’t really believe me, and I didn’t argue with him when he offered me somewhere else to stay.”

“I’m going to go walk Makka now.” Viktor said quietly before Yuuri could recover enough to say anything else. It wasn’t like a door shut between them, it wasn’t Viktor shutting him out. At least, that’s what Yuuri told himself.

Yuuri didn’t notice until twenty minutes later that Viktor had left his phone behind. It was another hour before Yuuri allowed himself to acknowledge the rising panic. But if Viktor didn’t have his phone Yuuri couldn’t call him. And he didn’t really want to get the others involved - never mind Yakov was probably sleeping at this hour.

Yuuri paced nervously, desperately staving off a panic attack by trying to keep his thoughts clear, trying to calm down. Panicking didn’t help anyone. That’s what he kept telling himself, but he wasn’t having much luck actually calming down. Finally Yuuri slipped out of the apartment bringing his phone with him. He hesitated in front of one of the doors to another apartment. Irina. She watched Makkachin sometimes for Viktor, Yuuri remembered. Maybe she’d have some ideas as to where he may have gone?

Hesitantly he knocked on the door. She answered, greeting him in confused Russian, but she frowned, seeing he was alone. She slipped into English then. “Is something wrong?” Her tone was accented, but Yuuri could understand her well enough.

“I don’t… know.” Slowly.  
She frowned at his tone, it was shaky, and to his own ears, it was clear he was on the verge of a panic attack. “It’s a bit late for a social call, Yuuri.” Her tone was mild, but patient. What had Viktor told her about him?

“Viktor went to walk Makka almost an hour and a half ago. … He left his phone.” Yuuri knew he should say more, but the words wouldn’t come out faced with her quiet brown gaze.  
“And you’re worried?” Irina prompted after leaving him quiet a moment.  
He nodded. “I have reason to be.” His tone sounded slightly defensive.

Irina seemed to consider that for a moment. “Give me a minute to get my shoes and keys.” Finally. “We’ll see if we can find them.” She reappeared a moment later. “Do you have your phone, in case he tries to reach you?”

Yuuri nodded, taking a moment to breathe and try to recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually like how this chapter came out, mostly. Aaand I have part of the next chapter written but I'm not sure how long it's going to take me to get it polished up enough to actually post. Tis also a bit short at the moment. heh.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding Viktor and late night talks. The threats continue to spread, but no one is sure where they're centering from.

“You know, Viktor’s been doing this without help for a long time, right?” Irina asked. They were sitting in her car, driving through the semi-quiet streets. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of the road in front of her, but she did seem to be making an effort to calm her passenger down a little.

“If you didn’t want to help you could have just said that.” Yuuri knew it came out sharper than he’d meant it to. That was a hazard of forcing it out around the panic in his chest. 

“I’m not saying that at all. I’m just... “ How did Viktor deal with this kid anyway? He was so touchy. Irina didn’t voice that. “Just saying this is his home and he knows his way around.” She did understand that an hour and a half at this time of night, without even taking his phone with him was scary. Which, of course, was why Irina had agreed to help find him anyway. 

“And he left really upset and half distracted without his phone. In a similar state two weeks ago he nearly walked out in front of a car, so excuse me for being a little concerned.” He’d managed to rein in the sharpness a little, but only a little. Yuuri realized immediately it was more than he should have said. 

But her expression had changed slightly. “He’s not… … is he?” She couldn’t even quite put a voice to the word.   
  
It took Yuuri a moment to understand what she was asking. “Oh no, no.” Firmly. “It was an accident.” 

Irina nodded, but didn’t look particularly relieved.

The silence was short lived. “Irina stop the car.” Yuuri’s voice was tight - and he jumped out of the car before she had even cut the engine entirely.

“Makkachin!” And the dog rushed up to him, lead dragging behind the large standard poodle. But there was no Viktor. … And Yuuri’s blood ran cold. “Where’s… Viktor?”   
  
“He’s a dog Yuuri, he can’t answer.” Irina sounded quiet.

Despite that remark, Makkachin did start tugging on his lead, seeming to want Yuuri to come with him. Yuuri, not really knowing what else to do, allowed the dog to lead him along down towards the water. 

It was there that they found Viktor. And for a moment Yuuri’s vision more or less whited out as panic rose in him drowning all sense of reality and correct reactions. Yuuri came back to his senses already kneeling beside Viktor’s prone form, examining his injuries almost in spite of his own fit of terror. 

“ Yurachka?” He asked, sounding confused, dazed.

Yuuri blinked. “Stay with me a little, Vitya.” Viktor never called him that, really. It was strange to hear it now.

Irina had joined him by then, but had taken control of Makkachin while Yuuri analyzed the damage. “Hospital?” She asked in a worried tone.

Yuuri pursed his lips slightly and held up one finger to indicate for Irina to wait. “Vitya.” Viktor’s gaze focused fully on Yuuri. “Can you tell me what hurts?”  
  
“Head, a little. Lip. Taste blood.” He was still. “Ribs. … Not sure if that’s from practice or...falling. Maybe. Cold….”

Yuuri slid his hand down along Viktor’s torso, clearly seeking the injury that made him say his ribs hurt. It didn’t take long before there was a distinct hiss. “Not cracked.” Yuuri said, his tone a little less grim. “Can you sit up?”

Viktor obeyed slowly. “Now stand.” Yuuri rose and offered Viktor his hand and helped pull him up and balance him.

“Bit light headed.”  
Yuuri nodded a hair, watching his eyes. “Nausea?”  
“No.”  
“Blurry vision?”   
“No.”

“Are… you going to answer me?” Irina asked, a little calmer than before.

“I was determining the answer to your question.” Yuuri responded. “Which is no, not the hospital. Home. There’s no concussion and the ribs aren’t cracked.”

“If you’re sure.”  
“... Irina’s here?”   
“Yeah she… helped me find you.” Fidgeting. “I was worried about you when you didn’t come back.”

“I’m glad you didn’t come by yourself.”

“What happened?” Yuuri asked as they got into Irina’s car - Yuuri and Viktor sharing the backseat with Makkachin sitting up front.

Viktor shook his head slightly, opting to just lay his head on Yuuri’s shoulder. The Japanese skater left it alone for the moment. It wasn’t long before they were in the parking lot of the Apartment complex. Yuuri thanked Irina profusely for her help and then went up stairs with Viktor.

They had showered - together, though relatively innocently, and were laying in bed. It had been a long night, and it was late. Both tended to have early starts in the morning, though Viktor was better at them than Yuuri. “...Can we talk?” Viktor asked in a quiet voice, interrupting the silence between them.

Yuuri rolled over onto his side to look at the older male. “Of course we can.” There was no real hesitation there. “What do you want to talk about?”

Viktor didn’t say anything at first. “What happened tonight?” Yuuri finally prompted hesitantly, sensing that Viktor wasn’t going to continue on his own for some reason.

“That was nothing. Silly punk thought I looked well dressed so I must have something good in my pockets. … I didn’t.” No because he’d left everything at home. “I’m just glad you found Makkachin alright.” 

Of course that was what Viktor would be worried about, the dog. Yuuri loved Makkachin, sure, but his worry had been far more about Viktor when he’d seen the dog roaming alone. “I’m glad I found you both alright.” Yuuri said in a firm sort of tone, sliding closer to the older male and hugging him in the darkness.

Viktor could feel the tension in the younger skater begin to fade as they embraced beneath the covers, and he mentally kicked himself for not realizing Yuuri had needed this sooner. “No I wanted to talk about… what happened before that though.” Finally. 

“Oh. Okay.” Quietly, but obviously waiting for Viktor to continue.

“So… I think I was telling you about Paris, when I shut down.” Thoughtfully.

“You were.” Yuuri prompted. “You saw your father, and you were explaining why that was a terrible thing.”

So he had been. “I think the worst part is how much it upset me. I couldn’t focus at all after that. Just… getting through the last meetings so I could go home was the hardest thing.” Frowning. “He didn’t do anything. He just… greeted me and smiled, like hundreds of others over the years. Asked me how I was doing.” His voice was quiet, rough. “And I was so angry, because how dare he? How dare he show up out of nowhere, how dare he talk to me after what he put me through?” Some of that anger rose up now, but Viktor tried to control it.

“He was sober. I don’t think I’d seen him sober since mama died. He was sober and I think he wanted to talk. Maybe apologize, maybe not. But I glared at him and told him to screw off.” A pause. 

“It’s okay to be angry.” Quietly. “He hurt you, and even if something has changed, it doesn’t fix it. You don’t owe him forgiveness.” 

Viktor was almost relieved that Yuuri seemed to understand where he was coming from. He was quiet for a few minutes, just holding Yuuri. “He wasn’t a bad man.” Viktor murmured, sounding almost like he was defending the man from his own temper. “At least … not always. Mom dying broke his heart, I guess. And I wasn’t enough to live for, not really. He became a bitter, bitter man. I was… I was only nine when she died. He tried at first, but he drank all the time and over time the drinking and depression ate him up until all that was there was anger. He was always so angry. I think he must have been sad, really. But he didn’t…” Mm. “He didn’t get better. By the time he shoved me through that window, I’d had enough. I couldn’t take it any more because I knew if I stayed he’d kill me, or wound me so bad I’d never skate again. I was… I was genuinely afraid for my life.”

Viktor let out something of a shuttering breath. “But I didn’t tell Yakov the truth because I didn’t want to go to court over it. I didn’t… I didn’t want to have to testify. I didn’t want to have to tell stories about the man he was and the man he had become. I didn’t want to have to face the reality of that life. I didn’t… maybe I should have. Maybe they could have helped him.”

“Vitya…” Caressing the older man’s cheek gently in the darkness. “You made choices you could live with at the time.” Calmly, firmly. “You made the choices you had to make to live your life. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Mm, he paused a moment to consider his own words. “You can’t live on what ifs. You can’t beat yourself up for getting out and helping yourself. It wasn’t your responsibility to help him.” 

“But he was family…” Viktor retorted. “Can’t you understand that?”   
  
“I do. I do understand that Viktor. Yes, he was your father, but he was also the force most likely to destroy you. Sometimes… all we can do is save ourselves. And that’s okay, there’s no shame in saving yourself.” Pulling Viktor more firmly against him, shifting them both so the older man rested halfway on Yuuri’s chest. 

Viktor didn’t say anything, just resting his head there on Yuuri’s chest, listening to the younger man’s heart beating, focusing on keeping his own breathing even. He relaxed, a little, feeling Yuuri stroking his hair and upper back lightly. It was sensual, but not in a way that was meant to turn the conversation from heartfelt to sexual. It was… closeness. The sort that Viktor always craved and Yuuri was usually too shy to give him without prompting.

“So you were tense when you got back because of your father?”  
“Mm. Yeah.” There was something there in his tone, like that wasn’t quite it. “He’s the heart of the whole thing I guess, because I haven’t had these damn nightmares since I was sixteen. But… they’ve come back since seeing him in Paris.”  
“Vitya…”   
“I know what you’re going to say, I should have woken you up.”   
“Mm.”   
“Maybe I should have. But I wasn’t… I didn’t know how to tell you.” Sighing. “Of course, now that it’s out on the table I feel awfully silly for thinking you’d judge me.”  
  
“S’always easier in hindsight.” Yuuri shrugged. “But I do want to tell you that you can wake me up if you need me, whenever you need me. No matter what. Even if you can’t tell me why just yet. Even if all you want is for me to tell you it’s going to be okay and hold you for a while. S’not like you have to shake me awake, just… curl up against me.” 

Viktor nodded slightly against Yuuri’s chest, but Yuuri continued. “I’d…. I’d rather have you do that, even if you can’t talk to me yet. Because at least then I know you’re with me, and I know you’re as okay as you can be. It’s a bit less scary than watching you put a wall between us and wondering … wondering what it’s going to do this time.”   
  
Another nod from Viktor. “I’ll try.” Quietly. 

It was all Yuuri could ask, really. It didn’t take long before the younger skater could feel Viktor drifting off to sleep there against his chest. Maybe things weren’t alright just then, but they would be. Yuuri forced himself to believe that. This was something they could get through, if only they stayed together.

It’d be a long road - but Yuuri hadn’t ever really imagined this would be easy. It wasn’t long before sleep called him down as well. And for the night they were safe - safe and together. And the rest of the world could wait.

Morning came perhaps too early, and neither of them really spoke about what had transpired the night before. The walk to the rink was comfortable, and they were already skating their warm ups by the time anyone else joined them. 

“Katsuki, a word please?” Yakov’s voice was gruff, but carried clearly across the rink to where the Japanese skater was working through a portion of his short program. Frowning he motioned for Viktor to continue without him and skated to the near-end of the arena where Yakov waited.

“Yes?”  
“Have you been on social media this morning?” Arching a grey eyebrow.   
“Ah, no.”   
“Have you told Viktor about the threats, at least?”  
“That I have, yes.” A pause. “Why are you asking about social media anyway?”   
“It’s spreading like wildfire.”   
  
The short string of Japanese that escaped was not terribly polite. 

“So why are you kidnapping my skater from practice anyway?”

Viktor appeared then, leaning against the wall beside Yuuri. “To tell me that the threats are spreading through social media at this point.” Rubbing at his temple. “And make sure I’d told you.”

“So you did know.” Viktor spoke up, fixing Yakov with a weak glare.  
“I did, but I wanted Katsuki to tell you. … And he did.”  
“So these threats…” Viktor continued.  
“Last I heard Phichit was still trying to get it under control. But quieting a social media surge is, ah, difficult. As he puts it.”  
“Do you think there’s any real substance to them?”

“Not really.” Yuuri said after a moment. “I mean, it’s not isolated, and that’s a bit unsettling. But most people making threats like that… they’re just talking.” He shrugged. “I mean, I know you said something way more serious happened last time, so I’ll be careful.” But he still wasn’t as worried about it as everyone else seemed to be. Most of his nerves last night had been about telling Viktor.

“Is there anyone you can think of that might want to make good on those threats?”   
  
“Honestly? No. Or at least, not anyone that would speak enough Russian to have gotten out a tirade of that length without making some serious errors.” So… Viktor and Yuri would have already known. 

“No, whoever wrote the message in your inbox, at least, had a very intimate knowledge of Russian language and culture.” Frowning. “Almost guaranteed to be native.”

“And the only person I can actively think of that may consider threatening me would be native Japanese.”

Viktor looked like he wanted to ask after that, but decided not to at the last moment. Later, perhaps, there would be time for that. They had enough genuine issues at the moment, he supposed. The potential ones could be faced some other time. 

“So anyway, other than letting Phichit try to rein this in in his free time I was intending to try to go on with life as usual. We’ve got that exhibition I agreed to skate for in Tokyo next month.” There was a short pause. “… By the way, you need to tell me if  _ you  _ are going to skate it or not so I can tell them by the end of the week. They extended the invitation out of politeness and have been holding it for me, but they need to have time to find someone else for that slot if you say no.”   
  
“I’d completely forgotten about that.” Viktor admitted, sheepishly. 

“You should skate in it.” Yakov offered, calmly. “It will interfere with the exhibition in Moscow, but you didn’t want to skate in that one because Yuuri wasn’t invited. This is better.” For sure, given Vitya was insane enough to try coaching and skating in one season. “And you need some ice time in the public eye if you really intend to re-attempt entry into the Grand Prix this year.”

Viktor nodded, accepting the older coach’s advice.

“So I should send off a memo to the organizers tonight to go ahead and solidify your position in the exhibition?”  
“Yes, please.”  
“Will do.” Yuuri seemed pleased to get that off of the list of things to do.

“But you probably have the right of it in general, just… trying to go on normally in the meantime.” Viktor admitted, finally. “Better not to let it affect our season.”

“That’s what I was thinking.” Shrugging slightly. “It feels a bit like letting them win.” Yuuri was surprised to see Viktor nodding along with that statement. “Last time I got threats, it was some idiot trying to scare me so I didn’t skate my best.”

Viktor dipped his head thoughtfully as he nodded. “It’s a dirty tactic but not unheard of.” Viktor admitted in a mild tone. “At any rate, I’m stealing my skater back for the rest of practice.”

One day at a time, they’d take this. One day at a time, they’d face whatever the world was throwing at them. Yuuri turned away from the edge of the rink, skating back towards the center to take his program from the top. Still, he couldn’t help thinking about what he and Viktor had gone through the night before. Couldn’t help but think about the picture painted about Viktor’s father.

If the man had been paying enough attention to find Viktor in Paris of all places, it wouldn’t be difficult to find him here in Saint Petersburg. It wouldn’t be hard for him to know of their relationship. Hm.

Yuuri shook his head sharply as he stilled at the center of the ice. One day at a time, no need to borrow trouble. He breathed out, forcing the thoughts to go with his breath. Viktor always knew when he was too deeply wrapped in his thoughts to skate properly, and he didn’t want to worry Viktor with this.

Not until he had to. Besides, it was probably his anxiety talking. The man had stayed away this long, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know that they should have gone to the hospital or police. Or both. Seriously if anything similar happens to you or a friend do that. I can promise that Vitya isn't going to crop up with a really serious injury or anything that comes as a result of them not following that particular protocol.
> 
> Next chapter is intended to be light but I can't promise it'll actually come out that way. During it or the next chapter will be the exhibition that our lovable dorks are supposed to skate. Yakov won't be at that exhibition because he has to be at the one in Moscow because Yurio is skating there.


	4. Chapter 4

Nearly a month later, and the storm had stilled, for the most part. Social media had stopped buzzing so viciously about the threats that had appeared there, and no new threats had been made in the interim. Yuuri wasn't sure what to make of the stillness, but he was thankful for it. It was one less thing to worry about going forward. One less problem to worry about as the two of them prepared for the next season - prepared for an exhibition that would bring them to Japan, away from Viktor's coach, though temporarily. It was alright, Yuuri knew, he was well aware that Viktor was mostly overseeing his own preparations for the season, but it didn't make him less nervous.

He hadn't ever been entirely convinced about this whole coaching and skating in one season thing, but Viktor seemed to be flourishing under it in some ways. Still, Yuuri worried about the strain, worried that Viktor wouldn't be able to skate his best because he was dividing his attention, or worse, that he'd be hurt because he was wearing himself down too far. But it was Viktor's season, and Viktor's choice. They'd argued about it at first, when Yuuri first came to Saint Petersburg, and Yuuri had thoroughly lost the fight. Still, some part of Yuuri wouldn't really forgive himself if something went wrong with Viktor because of this arrangement.

Granted, it was a bit late to worry about that, Yuuri mused, given they were currently on a plane flying into Tokyo for the exhibition at which they would both reveal this season's short programs, and their themes for the year as well. Viktor was leaning against Yuuri's shoulder reading a novel. There was a stillness between them, and still another six or so hours in the flight. They'd changed over in Moscow some hours ago, and ended up sleeping for a portion of the flight. Neither had gotten as much rest as they should have but... well. It was what it was.

"So... what does our schedule in Tokyo look like, anyway?" Viktor asked, closing the novel after marking his place.  
"I feel like we've already gone over it..."  
"We have, but I'd like to again."  
"Is this how you show your nerves, Vitya?" Teasing, slightly.  
"... Maybe." Rather sheepishly.

Oh. Well. That was not quite the answer he'd expected. "It's going to be okay, you know. It's just an Exhibition." He murmured. Then, Yuuri shifted slightly and kissed Viktor's temple. "Alright, so we land at about 9 pm. Which is not crazy late, but rather useful for the jet lag because frankly by the time we land I'm going to be bloody exhausted again." And while it wasn't that late, it was good because it was late enough to sleep without ruining their schedules. Viktor nodded when Yuuri paused there for a moment. "So we'll probably do some sort of light take out and go straight to the hotel and bed. If we're too wound up for sleep maybe a movie or so." Pausing again while he thought about it. "Tomorrow is a recovery day from travel. We can sight see if that's something you're up to... or not." Shrug. "I did agree to meet Phichit and Chris at the airport when they arrive, but that's mid-afternoon."

"They're coming in on the same flight?" Arching an eyebrow.  
"Apparently. Christophe was supposedly helping Phichit set something up in Bangkok. Phichit didn't tell me what, and Celestino doesn't seem to know." Shrug. "So anyway, they're both coming in around 3 pm, and you can come to that or you can go back to the hotel, depending on how you feel. Knowing those two a late lunch will be on the list and then to the hotel so they can drop off their things. ... Presuming they don't talk their coaches into doing that part for them."

A short laugh from Viktor as he nodded his agreement. "I think I'll join you picking them up, it will be nice getting to see Chris."

Yuuri nodded. "The day after that is public practice and interviews. There will be plenty of time for more sightseeing, but after the interviews I will probably just want to go back to the hotel. If you don't want to explore the city by yourself one of the other skaters may be willing to explore more with you." Chris, for example, would probably love the chance to spend some time with his best friends.  
  
"And then the day after that is the start of the actual exhibition. We skate on day one and have an optional slot on day three for if we want to do something as a pair on the ice. The JSF is offering that to several groups, apparently. I was thinking we could do a repeat of the Grand Prix performance with the modifications we've been working on. Or we can keep that particular one for our private knowledge and do something else. Or... not take it at all." Shrug. "It's mostly for registered pair skaters, but after our Grand Prix performance the JSF thought it might be a treat, for the fans. We won't be the only similar pair skating that day." Which, admittedly, was unusual. But this wasn't an ISU sanctioned event - it was an exhibition.

"Well, after the interviews we could go back to the hotel and see if we can rope Chris or Phichit ... or both into having a stay-in dinner with us and play a game, or watch movies, or something." Viktor offered, mildly. "And on day two, unless we've got a reason to be at the rink we can do more sight seeing, since we aren't skating ourselves."

"That's true." A pause. "I'll have to see what slots Chris and Phichit ended up with. But I think day two is ladies exclusively."  
Viktor nodded. "I think so."

"Day four is ice dancing, which I've never had much love for watching, personally. But that evening we will have to go down to the rink for another set of interviews and a hopefully brief photo session. My sponsors are requiring it." Of course they were. "The day after that is a free day, but we fly out early the day after."

"Not so bad." Viktor mused.  
"No, I tried to be careful to keep it spaced out enough that it wouldn't be terribly stressful." Shrugging a little. "It's going to be a bit more stretched out than most exhibitions I've participated in, but the JSF is debuting several young skaters for both Senior and Junior divisions at the event."  
"I had wondered about that." Laughing. "No wonder they were so interested in getting you to perform."  
  
Nodding slightly. "Yeah, which is kind of silly, I think, because there are plenty of better skaters endorsed by the JSF but..."  
"Yuuri, you won silver in the Grand Prix final. And went on to win gold at the Japanese Nationals. Of course they want you at the season debut of their young skaters."  
"I barely managed to podium at Worlds." He pointed out, darkly.  
"You know, you were honestly too sick to be on the ice going into your free skate." In a critical voice, "The fact that you medaled at all with a fever of a hundred and one is impressive."

It had cost Yuuri, of course. He'd been too ill to leave the US for more than a week after the competition, but he'd earned bronze at worlds. And he knew Viktor was right, technically, it had been impressive that he'd made the Podium at all. Plisetsky had earned silver there - and a very _incredibly_ confused Giacometti had gotten the gold.

"So what are you reading again?" Fully intending to keep the conversation moving in an attempt to distract Viktor from his apparent nerves.

* * *

"Are you really still refusing to tell me what in the world you two are doing together?"  
Phichit smirked, "It's nothing Yuuri, honestly."  
  
There was something the Thai skater wasn't telling him, Yuuri was sure, but he didn't push anymore. Instead he gave the younger boy a hug and led him off to join the cluster were Celestino, Chris, and Viktor were already waiting. Josef joined them a few moments later, completing their group.

As Viktor had predicted the day before, the coaches ended up going to the hotel early, leaving the four skaters to their own devices. It worked out well though - they ended up finding a nice traditional Japanese restaurant to have lunch at.

The conversations were light, airy - at least at first. Finally Phichit brought up the inevitable. "So... the threats?"

Yuuri groaned, and took another bite with his chopsticks before bothering to answer. "You know I would have told you if anything else came up." He pointed out mildly. "Seriously though, a week after it started everything just... died." He shrugged. "I'm not complaining about it, mind."  
"It's just so weird." Phichit responded after a moment. "Things like that don't normally vanish on their own."  
Yuuri shrugged again. "I figure it's some fan of Viktor's offended that I've still got his attention. ... And they realized they made a mistake when social media literally exploded about it. Or something of that nature."  
"Mm... maybe."  
"I'm not so sure it was that innocent." Viktor offered mildly. "I mean, I know Yuri only gave you the vaguest idea of that message in your inbox, but there was nothing innocent about it." Flatly. "It was resonantly vicious, and it would surprise me greatly to know it was merely a 'fan'."

Yuuri shrugged it off slightly. "It's just a theory. And it would explain it dying off suddenly, them ending up way deeper than it was supposed to go."  
"True." Chris admitted, mildly. "And admittedly, not all fans are young and innocent." He pointed out.  
Viktor had to nod his own agreement at that.  
  
"So your blackout is over then?" Phichit asked.  
"Mhm. Except for the fact that as a rule I try not to look near competitions."  
"Not that this is a competition. It's supposed to be fun."  
"It's the first thing in what's going to be a pretty serious season." Yuuri retorted.  
"It's still supposed to be _fun._ It's an exhibition, Yuuri." Phichit laughed.  
"Yeah and the media is going to have a field day because Viktor is coaching and skating this season."

"Only you two would be insane enough to try this." Chris mused.  
" _I_ wanted to retire, but Viktor wouldn't hear anything of it."  
"Of course not! You did so beautifully last season." Viktor smiled wryly. "And I wouldn't want to be on the ice if you weren't here beside me."  
  
Yuuri couldn't help flushing scarlet at that. Chris had started laughing. Phichit, predictably took a picture of the highly embarrassed Japanese skater.

It took him a moment to recover from his embarrassment, but eventually he did. "So, how are your programs coming out for this season?"  
"Really well!" Phichit responded, grinning. "Coach Celestino and I have been working really hard this year. I've got high hopes for a better season."  
Yuuri nodded, obviously pleased to hear it. "I look forward to it."

"So I heard the JSF offered you two a pair skating slot, did you intend to take them up on it?" Chris leaned across the table slightly, reaching for one of the serving dishes.  
Yuuri glanced at Viktor who nodded a hair. "We had intended to take it yes. I don't know our exact time slot for the third day." He admitted mildly. "It's not exactly like the exhibition following the GPF, so it should be interesting for everyone." Smirking.  
"Oh come on Yuuri you can't say it like _that_ and then stop!" Phichit complained.

"No, I haven't seen any of your performance for this season, and I want to keep everyone entertained. Even my fellow competitors."  
"You wound me." Phichit mourned, but he was clearly teasing for the most part. "You've let the entire Russian team see, but not your best friend."

"Actually most of the Russian team is so focused on their own performances they haven't paid attention. And Viktor and I have been working on the exhibition exclusively when we had the ice to ourselves." Firmly. "Also just seeing the choreography is definitely not as meaningful without the music." Yuuri shook his head. "I promise, I'll make the slight tease worth it." The smile hadn't quite left his lips. "But you'll have to wait."  
"Alright, alright. You win." Phichit let the topic go then, and it was clear that no feelings were ever actually hurt.

* * *

This interview was running longer than Yuuri liked. Questions were being bounced between several of them, which was nice in that it gave Yuuri a chance to relax, just a bit next to Viktor. Unfortunately he had to follow everything said very closely, because he was expected to comment occasionally. And, of course, sometimes reporters named someone seemingly random and said nothing more than "same question" which... was not useful if he wasn't listening to the questions being asked. Most of them were pretty innocent.

"So Viktor, you've spoken very little about your return to skating this season. How do you feel about coaching one of your own competitors?"

  
The smile Viktor gave was light and practiced - it was a crowd smile, a camera smile. Yuuri wondered if anyone else watching could see that. "I think everyone who asks the question like that is looking at everything the wrong way." Viktor declared, his smile not faltering. "Yes, Yuuri and I are technically competing against each other by ISU standards. But like many skaters we're friends, first. It's almost like asking how do I feel about teaching my rinkmates one of my signature jumps, or how do I feel knowing that Plisetsky won gold last year using my choreography." Dryly. "We're very different skaters with very different strengths, and no matter what happens this season, I expect I'm going to be proud, of my own performance and of Yuuri's. It's not about who is going to medal where or who is better than the other. I'll do my best this season and so will he."  
  
"So you're saying the pre-season stress hasn't strained your relationship at all?"  
  
"No, it hasn't." Firmly. Viktor shifted then, and Yuuri _knew_ that the gold ring that Viktor wore was quite visible in the shot. He also knew that even though most people would have seen that as a nervous fidget, or a shift to get more comfortable... well, Yuuri knew it hadn't been an accident. They weren't entirely public, in the sense that they'd not given any press declaration that the rings really were engagement rings - but they both knew the truth. And so did most of the world.

"So about your performance at the world championships, Katsuki. Sources say you weren't at all pleased with it." One of the reporters had zeroed in on him again.  
"Oh, that." Yuuri fidgeted slightly. "I was coming down with something just prior to the competition, but I didn't want to back out of it. But by the free skate I was in rather lousy shape. I couldn't skate my best, but I expect to do much better this season."  
"I see..." The reporter trailed off for a moment. "So you and Nikiforov were intending to reveal your themes for the season, will you do that now?"  
  
"Oh, right." Yuuri nodded, and sat up a little straighter. "My theme for this season is going to be 'Moving Forward'."  
"And yours, Viktor?"  
The silver haired skater let out a short laugh. "Mine is 'Eternity' this season."  
  
"Both of those sound very interesting!" The interviewer smiled. "Are either of you willing to discuss the short programs that you're debuting tomorrow?"  
"Oh, I won't normally share my music prior to a performance." Viktor responded, winking. "But I guess I can make an exception this season. I'll be skating to ' _Young and Beautiful_ '."  
"By Lana Del Rey?" The other clarified.  
Viktor nodded slightly. "Precisely."  
"And you, Katsuki-san?"  
"I'll be skating to a version of Katy Perry's ' _Rise_ '." He managed to smile wanly. "I hope you all enjoy the performance you have in store for you tomorrow."  
"I'm quite sure everyone will enjoy it very much."

It was a relief to make it back to the hotel room they were sharing, when all was said and done. He sank down onto one of the two beds in the room - the one he and Viktor had actually slept in - for a moment, just breathing as the tension of being under such intense scrutiny for so long faded. "You know, Yakov would yell at us for revealing the music." Yuuri murmured.

"I had thought of that." Viktor admitted. "But it's already been done. I don't think it'll make much of a difference really."  
"Maybe not." And by the time they got home there would be no point in yelling at them for it.

"I do hope you're still up to movies and dinner with friends." Viktor continued after a moment. "Because I might have let the idea slip before double checking with you." He sounded concerned. "I'm usually better about that, I don't know what's gotten into me."

"It's fine." Yuuri soothed. "And I like being around Chris and Phichit, it's fine." Patting Viktor's arm. "And probably it's your nerves again." Shrug. "You're falling into patterns you used to follow to keep yourself under control for competitions. It's not weird." Not really. Viktor was more outgoing than he was, and keeping himself busy with friends and sightseeing was - as far as Yuuri could tell - his preferred way of handling it when things started to bubble up inside. Which... was interesting, because it hadn't taken Yuuri long to realize that there was Chris, and there were his Rink mates, but there wasn't... really anyone else. Irina, maybe. But they weren't really casual talk-all-the-time friends. And normally he'd just assume that Viktor hadn't introduced him to whatever friends there were.

But Viktor hardly went anywhere other than the rink without Yuuri. ... And he knew that when he went alone he was going to the rink because Yakov had, on occasion, yelled at him for not taking nearly enough of a break between grueling sessions. How did someone who chattered so easily with people, who seemed well acquainted with most skaters, who was so outgoing have so few friends? The clearest answer was that he'd devoted so much time for skating he didn't have room for anything else. Hm. He put it aside for the moment - not that it wasn't important, it was. But...there were other things to worry about.

"It's weird, I haven't been so aware of my nerves before a season in years." Viktor admitted, mildly. "And I'm not sure if I actually haven't been this nervous in years or... if you're just making me more aware of my ticks." Amused.

Yuuri shrugged slightly - if Viktor didn't know then the Japanese skater certainly didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the end of the Anime made it pretty clear that Yuuri dropped post Grand Prix to go to Saint Petersburg to train, but I'm working with a head canon that Yakov would not allow Viktor to enter in Russian Nationals because he didn't have nearly enough time to be ready (I'm not kidding, he had maybe 2 weeks between the two), so Viktor's pre-season set up started all the way then, right after the December finals. But he insisted that Yuuri ride the wave after his success at the GPF, and so Katsuki went on to Skate in the Japanese Nationals and then in Worlds rather than abruptly retiring post GPF. So in story canon what we're looking at is the 2016/2017 skating season, with the (well supported) determination that season 1 was the 2015/2016 season.
> 
> It's also in that transitional period where Viktor decided he was going to keep directly coaching Yuuri which he continued training and competing instead of formally turning him over to Yakov or some other coach. Yakov and Yuuri both think he's crazy, neither have convinced him to change his mind. Yakov does not assist in Yuuri's training in any meaningful way except that he oversees scheduling everyone's training times so they can share the ice and all be ready for the season starting. Even so most of the Russian team sees Yuuri as a rinkmate. 
> 
> Also it's funny because going into this chapter I literally only had Yuuri's free skate planned, because that's what Stay Close to Me actually is, even though the song is so short (????) I guess it must have been shortened to keep the length of the episode down while keeping the sheer amount of content it required. You can even see it in stills that show the video, the length on it is four and a half minutes.... Anyway he's supposed to be debuting his Short Program. Good job self.
> 
> ... Bonus points, this story is triggering a wave of potential head canons that would weirdly alter things the way they're written now so there will probably be more YoI fics from me coming with various original characters in different positions around Victuuri's main story. Unfortunately I'm kind of well known for abuse headcanons, but I'll try to pop out some light ones too.
> 
> Viktor's short program is, of course, Lana Del Rey's "Young and Beautiful" this is what I had in mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwQ3v_XiPmE (though I imagine the ending smoothed out just slightly better, instead of half clipping off a word)  
> Yuuri's is a version of Katy Perry's "Rise" like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk9mwAV1FRs
> 
> So Viktor didn't entirely choose the short program song this season. He gave Yuuri a few different songs and made him pick one. Lord my notes this chapter are so long, I'm so sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter we see what Chris and Phichit were up to! Among other things. This is a longer chapter because I wanted to take care of everything pre-return to Russia, because things heat up again next chapter.

The morning of the first real day of the exhibition dawned crisp and a little chilly, and Yuuri found himself awake before Viktor had gotten up, for once. He enjoyed watching Viktor sleep for a few long moments before getting up to face the day properly. Eventually he rose, going through a few simple stretches to loosen up and finish waking up. After that he ordered the both of them a simple breakfast and slipped into the ensuite bathroom to take a quick shower. Coffee was finished by the time he'd gotten out of the shower, and room service arrived a few moments later.

Their arrival awoke Viktor, but by then it was only a few moments before the alarm would have done so anyway, so Yuuri didn't feel terribly guilty. Viktor did blink in surprise, a little as Yuuri set breakfast on the small table beside the bed they'd shared. "Coffee?" The Japanese skater asked with a wry smile, and Viktor nodded.

"You're up early today." Viktor said after a few moments, and a few sips of coffee.

Yuuri nodded slightly. "I got to watch you sleep for a while." His tone made it sound like this was quite a treat - and for him it was. Though Viktor looked slightly embarrassed. 

"I didn't know that was something you enjoyed." He said finally. 

And it was Yuuri's turn to look embarrassed. "You look so peaceful." He murmured. "And I like watching you sometimes, even if I can't always fathom why you stay with me." It was a more casual mention of his insecurities than usual. Enough so that Viktor could tell they weren't driving him mad at the moment.

Even so, Viktor stole one of Yuuri's hands impulsively and kissed his knuckles. "I stay because I love you." Simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

"I love you too." Yuuri murmured, taking his hand back so that he could go back to his breakfast.

Sometimes it was like this, gentle and peaceful. He loved this little moments, these quiet moments that he didn't have to share with anyone else. These were the moments he liked best, even a thousand miles from home. ... Well to be fair, if he considered Hasetsu home, it wasn't quite that far. ... Not the point, really.

"We should probably get ready." Viktor sounded almost wistful.  
Yuuri smiled a fraction. "Yeah, we should." He leaned in then, kissing Viktor delicately before slipping away to actually change into his costume. Over the costume went his customary warm up pants and jacket. By the time he was done Viktor had changed as well. 

There was another public warm up that morning, which is what greeted them when they arrived at the arena. Yuuri answered a few questions, but mostly waved off reporters - Viktor spent a bit longer talking to them, but rejoined Yuuri before he stepped onto the ice.

They warmed up, flitting in and and around each other, though respectfully giving the other skaters wide berth. Yuuri knew in the back of his mind that their all-too-involved warm up would be all over the newscasts that were reporting this event, but he couldn't find it in himself to mind. He was nervous still, for sure, but it was a lot of fun skating around Viktor. And there was something exciting and also terrifying about the idea of skating against Viktor this season.

"You two are so cute when you do that." Phichit was grinning as he spoke. 

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, warm up pictures are already on social media?"  
"Maybe..." Yuuri rolled his eyes and Phichit continued, "Hey at least I beat the media story on it?"  
"Is... that a good thing?" Chris had come up on the other side. "Seriously though if you keep that up the ISU is going to modify its rules on similar pairs just for you two."  
  
"I wouldn't be complaining." Viktor admitted, bemusedly. "Though, it would be strange competing in pairs events instead of singles."  
"Also a little late to swap events, you're ancient." Teasing, mostly.   
"I'm hurt. Absolutely crushed, you wound me Chris."  
"Oh please they skated so well at the Grand Prix final... Yuuri I didn't know you pair skated." Phichit defended, lightly.   
"I don't. Or I didn't." Flushing. "I did have practice with pairs in ballet and dance though." Shrug.   
"And the transition, Viktor lifting you and then you swapped halfway through."  
"It was practical." Viktor pointed out, dryly. "His stamina far surpasses mine." It wasn't shocking to say that, given multiple factors. "Besides anyone at the Sochi banquet knew he could lift me. ... He held  _you_ _and himself_ up with just his arms while drunk. On a pole."  
"Viktor please." Yuuri squeaked, obviously not wanting to discuss the banquet.   
"And rather handily dipped you as I recall." Thoughtfully.   
"Yes, it's part of what gave me the idea." Viktor admitted, mildly. Right, during the dance, the one that Yuuri was simultaneously disappointed that he didn't remember and thankful for the same fact. 

"So have you been working on anything special for this season, Phichit?"  
"You'll see!" Grinning.  
"...Does this have anything to do with why Chris was in Bangkok with you?"  
"Maybe." The Thai skater was still grinning.

"Oh look, Yuzuru is taking the ice." Yuuri's attention had strayed away from the conversation to watch the younger Japanese skater for a few moments. "Oh and I know I agreed to go sight seeing tomorrow, but..." Turning his attention to Viktor, after a moment. "And we definitely will, but I want to be here for the first couple of junior skaters tomorrow morning, Yuuko is sponsoring one of them and I promised I'd talk with her a bit before she took the ice."  
"Oh?" Viktor sounded intrigued.  
"She's like, fourteen. This will be her first year competing at all. ... Yuuko swears she has it in her but she's nervous, of course. And I told Yuuko that having her first appearance be an internationally broadcast exhibition was a bad idea but here we are." Amused. "She'll be the third skater to take the ice tomorrow, so it won't keep me too late." No, it wouldn't.  
"Not that I'd really mind. It's nice to see you taking an interest in some of the younger skaters."

Yuuri shrugged a little. "I just feel bad, I said we'd go sightseeing tomorrow and now I'm going back on that."  
"Not really, losing an hour or so isn't a big deal." Smiling a little. "And taking the time to talk to someone that could use the support is a good thing."  
  
"It's your turn next." Nudging Phichit, who was already in the process of sliding off his jacket.  
"Yeah, I should go join Coach Celestino." The Thai skater laughed and went off that way.

It was halfway through the program when it happened. This wasn't a competition, there was no announcer clearly denoting what jumps were being done, no one pointing out specifically what was going on. But Yuuri recognized the jump for what it was. His gaze flicked to Chris who was watching the program with a rather satisfied smirk. _Ah._ So he'd been right, ultimately.

"Was that...?" Viktor asked in a quiet voice. "He couldn't do that last season."  
"A quad lutz." Yuuri confirmed. "No, all he had last season was his toe loop."  
"So that's what the two of you were up to then?" Viktor pinned Chris with a look - the other skater shrugged.  
"Yeah, it was. Celestino hesitated to let him push for such a complicated jump, so he asked me to help. He's a quick learner."

There was silence for several moments. "So when are you pushing for a quad Axel anyway?"

Yuuri almost spat out the mouthful of water he'd been drinking, ending up choking on it as he stared at the Swiss skater. Viktor had stepped out onto the ice to take his place now that Phichit was back. The Thai skater was still speaking with his Coach, which had left them alone. ... And now _this._ "I hadn't intended to, actually." He managed after a moment. "No one has _ever_ landed that in competition." Pointedly.  
"And?" Sort of bemusedly. "Once no one had landed any particular jump. It's called making history."

Yuuri shook his head. "I'm too inconsistent. There's no way."  
"Yuuri, you seriously favor your triple axel. Don't sell yourself short."

The Japanese skater shook his head. "I want to watch this." Firmly turning his attention from Chris back to the ice as the chords of Young and Beautiful began to play. Viktor was skating a simplified version of the choreography, with low grade jumps, intending to avoid giving away too much and intending to avoid pushing himself too far before regionals back in Russia. Still, Yuuri had always loved to watch Viktor skate, and the fact that he'd seen this program a dozen times didn't make him any less enthralled to see the silver haired skater making his way across the ice.

Viktor's costume for his short program was a carefully fitted design - it was mostly a deep royal blue with swirls of silver glitter marking out an intricate pattern across his torso and back. Yuuri's attention remained focused on the lean figure of his fiance, only distantly processing the words of the song. It had been chosen because of those words, Yuuri knew. _Will you still love me when I'm not longer young and beautiful...?_ The lines of the chorus began as Viktor glided into a beautiful spiral before shifting into a combination spin. _Will you still love me when I've got nothing left but my aching soul?_ Viktor was an older skater and everyone knew it. He would retire eventually - maybe at the end of this season, maybe not. But it was coming - and historically fans would, of course, forget him. They would move on to other, younger skaters, and Viktor? Viktor would fade from memory. _I know you will..._ sure. Fans would forget him, but they wouldn't forget the records he'd set, and his fellow competitors wouldn't forget the flash of silver that had brightened their lives and challenged them at their strongest. _I know you will..._ His rinkmates wouldn't forget him, nor would those whose lives he ultimately touched if he went forward being a coach and choreographer. _I know that you will..._ And Yuuri, of course, Yuuri wouldn't forget him. They were engaged, they would be married, one day.

"Phichit tell him he should try for a quad axel." Chris drawled in a tone that from anyone else would have been called pouting. Yuuri found his attention jarred from the rink to listen to them speaking, he rolled his eyes and didn't _look_ at them, but the spell was still broken.  
The Thai skater held up his hands slightly in a clear 'not getting in the middle of this' signal, having only just rejoined them.

Yuuri was to take the ice after Viktor, so he shed the cover off of himself, baring the charcoal gray outfit. There were cut outs at his shoulders and in the middle of his back, each covered by a mesh panel colored pure black. He had designs in glitter and sequins as well, though his were in a deep red. It was long sleeved, though instead of gloves the sleeves of the outfit extended over his hand on the back, with a loop that hooked over his middle fingers. Yuuri had liked the design because it left most of his fingers bare, and because it meant the gold ring was visible.

The Japanese skater waited near the exit to the rink for his coach and fellow competitor. A few moments after the music ended Viktor joined him at the edge of the rink. "You looked great out there." Yuuri breathed. Viktor smiled a fraction, leaning forward to brush his lips against Yuuri's not seeming to care in that moment how many people were watching. " _Aishiteru."_ He murmured, close to Viktor's ear, but then pulled back a fraction, as if to survey his reaction.

Viktor, of course, only had the faintest grasp of Japanese. He probably had no idea what Yuuri had just said, much less how  _intense_ it was. Yuuri knew this, despite that fact, the shocked look in Viktor's eyes sent his heart soaring as he pulled his guards off and stepped onto the ice, finally moving away from the Russian skater. He'd ask later, Yuuri decided, just to see what Viktor knew about what he'd said. 

Yuuri skated to the center of the rink with that soaring feeling still in his chest. He closed his eyes for a second as he carefully settled into his starting position for Rise. The Japanese skater opened his eyes and exploded into motion as the music began.  _I won't just survive. Oh, you will see me thrive..._ It was almost strange, to still be skating. Twice he'd come to the edge of retiring, twice Viktor had pulled him back from it, had pushed him to continue. Had insisted he give himself over to to skating, had insisted they skate the season together, insisted they compete against each other. _Don't doubt it, don't doubt it. Victory is in my veins._ Phichit had teased him about the lines of the song, had teased him because it sounded like a fan slur of Viktor and Yuuri together. Victuuri. Victory. Yuuri had mostly just rolled his eyes about it, but he had to admit it was pretty funny. If only because it was Viktor who pushed him to rise, it was Viktor who kept inspiring him to move forward, to keep skating. And yet, somehow, it seemed he had inspired Viktor, too. It was funny, how things came full circle.

Phichit's quad lutz from Christophe, his own quad flip from Viktor. And now Chris thought he should try for an Axel. Yuuri still thought he was crazy, but he'd already made history once, he'd broken Viktor's record once, and he'd done poorly at worlds. But what if... what if he could pull everything together and re-break the world records, both of them, to take the record for highest total combined, too? A quad axel would certainly help him do that. ... No he shouldn't be thinking about this on the ice. ... On the bright side, the tangle of thoughts hadn't damaged the fluid step sequence, and he was able to transition into his combination sit-camel spin.  _They're whispering "You're out of time", but still I rise._ As the line ended he transitioned from the sit spin into the camel and from the camel into an upright - though keeping enough momentum to go through three different spins without breaking formation had been difficult. From there was his triple axel, combined with a double toe loop - he'd probably upgrade the double later in the season.

Yuuri slid into his final pose as the music ended around him. One arm was raised towards the ceiling, his head tilted up and back, gaze pointed upward as well. His breathing was even enough, he hadn't pushed himself in this program. It was fluid, easy - not a struggle. He'd save the struggles for when the season began in earnest. After a predetermined amount of time, which he'd counted off in his head, Yuuri broke the pose and bowed fluidly before skating towards the edge of the rink to join Viktor, who was waiting for him. _Who would always be waiting for him_. That thought left his heart racing just a little as he reached his coach turned fiance.

* * *

 

Day two of the exhibition started much the same as the previous day had. Viktor had decided to come down to the rink with him, despite Yuuri insisting that he really should go ahead and rest. The mock-argument had been short lived, and ended with them both flashing their badges to security as they made their way rink side. Yuuri didn't really mind, to be honest - spending time with Viktor that didn't have to be interrupted by Yakov yelling at them was nice, to be honest. And he enjoyed the peaceful air the day had to it. Today was for sightseeing. Then they'd finish their duties here and then they'd go back to training hard for Viktor's qualifying competitions.

It didn't take long for Yuuri to spot Yuuko and the young girl who could only be the skater she was sponsoring into the exhibition today.

"Yuuri!" She grinned, spotting him. "I'm so sorry we didn't get in early enough to watch you skate live yesterday." She looked slightly embarrassed. "We did watch the stream though, the music this year sounds great."  
"Thanks. And I understand, it's not like I was really expecting you to be here." Laughing, a little. He hadn't been - her being here with a young skater had actually been a shock. "So are you going to introduce us?"  
"Oh right." Yuuko turned a bit to face the girl. "Arisu, these two are Yuuri and Viktor."

Arisu, for her part, looked slightly shocked to see them, but she bowed a fraction in greeting.

The introduction had been informal, even so Yuuri inclined his head politely at the girl. "So how long have you been skating?" His tone was light, friendly.  
"I was twelve when I started." Carefully, she answered. "But this will be my first season competing."

Yuuri nodded a little. But before he could say anything, the girl continued. "I think the scariest part is the idea of so many people watching."  
The older skater couldn't help but laugh, slightly. "I can relate to that. It's like... sure, let's go ahead and pour out my heart on the ice, great plan."  
"Exactly. I just- How do you deal with that?"  
"Mm." Yuuri tilted his head back for a second, expression thoughtful.

"Well...I can take a stab at answering while you think?" Viktor offered, thoughtfully. Yuuri nodded and motioned for him to continue. "I always try to remember that even though I'm skating my heart out, pouring my soul on the ice, as you put it... it's easier, if you remember that the audience sees only what they want to see, and understands less than half of what really drives you. They see the beauty of your performance, they don't know the six or eight months of pain that lead to you mastering that routine. They don't know that you spent thirty plus hours on the ice this week alone to get every last bit of it down. They don't know the emotional roller-coaster that may be ripping you apart off the ice. All they know is the beauty of your performance. Most of them are blinded to the reality. Only your fellow competitors, only your rinkmates will really know what you went through to get onto the ice that day. Only those closest to you will read the truth of whatever you put out on the ice. It's easier then, to skate with everything I have. Because... it doesn't matter. They will see the passion, and that's all they need to see, all they want to see."

Yuuri nodded. "Right, exactly that." He added to the end, when Viktor stopped talking. "It _is_ a bit easier if you remember that. You may be pouring your heart out on the ice, but unless you make your motivations really clear while talking to the media people will paint over it with their own story, they'll read what they want. You may be telling your life story on the ice, but most spectators can't see that - they see only what they want to see." There was another pause. "It also helps, for me at least, if I remember that I'm not skating for them in the first place." He held up one finger, as if anticipating her argument. "Hear me out, I know, we put on a show for them. The performance is for them, maybe. But the crowd isn't the important part. You're not skating for the crowd, at best you're skating for the judges. But ultimately you have to start out skating for yourself. It changes later, sure, but the only way to find what drives you, the only way to get yourself started on that path is to start skating because _you_ want to. You can't keep yourself motivated if the only reason you're skating is because someone _else_ wants you to."

Viktor nodded a little in agreement. "We're artists and athletes. We are entertainers, yes, but what we do is for ourselves first. Sure, entertaining and pleasing the fans is on the list, but it's lower. It has to be, like Yuuri said, because you have to take care of yourself before anything else can fall into place."

"I think I understand now." Arisu murmured. "Thank you."  
"It's no problem." Yuuri smiled. "I remember being extremely nervous for my first season."  
"Yuuri, you were extremely nervous last season." Viktor pointed out in a light tone.  
".... He's not wrong." Yuuri admitted, sheepishly. "But it's worse for most people during the first season, because you don't know what to expect yet."

"That makes sense." Arisu accepted. "So how long have you both been skating?"  
"Well, I started skating when I was very young, I was six or seven the first time." Yuuri admitted. "I didn't start competing nationally until I was about the age you are now though. And I didn't start competing internationally for another two years."  
"I was skating at 8." Viktor filled in after. "And I started competing at 13. I went international that same year. 2 out of 10, would not repeat." The last was said in an airy tone.  
Yuuri looked surprised. "Really?"  
"No. I would not repeat going international even on the junior level my very first year competing." Viktor shook his head. "I mean, I know I did okay, given I was a 13 year old with no real experience, but the meltdowns that season were not worth it."  
"It's difficult to imagine you melting down." It was Arisu who spoke. "You always seem to have it together at competitions." Yuuko nodded along with her.

"Well, to be fair, at the time he was a year younger than you are now." It was Yuuri who pointed it out first. "And that would have been fifteen years ago now. That's a lot of time to practice looking like you've got it together, if nothing else."   
"You know, nothing makes you feel quite so old as realizing you've been professionally skating as long as some of your competitors have been alive." Viktor sounded more amused than anything.  
"To be fair, she's not actually old enough for senior division."   
"I was actually thinking of Yurio."

Oh. Well, he couldn't argue with Plisetsky being almost the same age as Viktor's skating career. "Anyway, back to the original point. You not being able to imagine Viktor having a meltdown, that's precisely what we mean when we say the crowd really has no idea what's going on."  
"Ooh." In a thoughtful tone. 

 It was only a few moments later when Arisu took the ice. "Just remember to skate it like you would in practice." Yuuri offered as the girl stepped onto the smooth surface. She flashed a smile at him before skating to the middle of the rink.

* * *

"She seems lovely." Viktor was saying, as they walked down the street some time later. "I look forward to seeing where she goes with her career."

"So do I." Yuuri admitted lightly. "So what did you want to do today?" Curious, mostly, to see if Viktor had preferences on the sightseeing they had been planning to do. If he didn't Yuuri had a few decent options they could go with. 

"Well... I was actually wondering if we could go to the aquarium."  
"The aquarium?" Yuuri seemed surprised.  
"...If you don't want to we don't have to! I just-"  
"I didn't say that, I was just surprised. Any particular reason why?"  
"I've, ah, actually never been to one. And I thought it might be fun."

Blink. "Well then I guess I know what we're going to do today." Cheerfully. "We'll go to the Shinagawa aquarium, it's beautiful and has a nice cafe for lunch."  
"You're so good to me." Viktor murmured.  
"I can't believe you've never been to an aquarium before."   
"There was never time. ... There still isn't, really, but we've already set aside the day to explore so..." Shrugging a fraction.

It was moments like this that Yuuri really understood what Viktor had given up to become the sort of skater he had been for more than half of his own life. He'd given up any semblance of a childhood, and most chances at normalcy. Yuuri had always imagined some of that sacrifice, of course - he'd seen it in his own life. But the intense level to which Russia took its figure skating seriously was reflected in just how much Viktor had given up. It was no wonder then that Viktor had been ready to release it into the wind for a chance at something  _different,_ for a chance to chase down passion and inspiration. Viktor had given up so much it was almost a wonder he didn't resent skating. But then, Yuuri supposed he may very well, sometimes. 

Yuuri led the way - they would need to take the subway to get where they were going. He didn't really mind though, public transportation was just sort of a fact of life here. Eventually they arrived at their goal, and Yuuri spoke with the person at the counter for a moment in Japanese, getting their tickets before motioning for Viktor to follow him inside.

"Most of the informational posters should be in both Japanese and English." Yuuri explained.   
"If they're not, I have you." Grinning rather vibrantly. Yuuri didn't think Viktor had ever seemed so beautiful.  
"I suppose that's true." Yuuri couldn't help but smile back at the Russian skater. 

Yuuri set a leisurely pace as he led Viktor through the exhibits. He couldn't help doing his best impression of Phichit - taking out his phone and snapping pictures of Viktor's joy. The expressions lighting up his face were worth every bit of being here, he decided. Not that Yuuri didn't want to be here - literally any time spent with Viktor was worth it. 

"Yuuri look at the ray!"   
"I see it Viktor." Laughing, a little.   
"This is so cool...." Viktor was turning slightly in place, head tilted back to take in the whole of the tank around (and above) them. The tunnel tank was obviously Viktor's favorite thing so far. "Look Yuuri!" Pointing again. "It's a-" Viktor's voice faltered, as his mind completely blanked on the word in question.  
"Sea turtle." Yuuri supplied with a soft chuckle. "Green, maybe." Shrugging a little. 

* * *

The day had ended with Yuuri vowing that he was going to bring Viktor to another aquarium some time because the older skater had enjoyed it so much. It also served as a reminder that dates with Viktor didn't have to be fancy - the simplest things seemed to bring joy to the Russian and sometimes Yuuri could use to remember that, he supposed.

The next day started in a haze. Yuuri knew from that alone that it would not be one of his best days - anxiety set a buzzing beneath his skin, and he wasn't sure how he was going to manage to perform today. Viktor though, bless him, seemed to recognize what was happening. And, in time, he'd gotten a little better at knowing what to do for Yuuri.

"Sit." His voice was gentle. "Breathe with me."  
They went through several counts of simple breathing exercises.  
"Is this okay?" He'd taken one of Yuuri's hands in his own - Yuuri nodded. Viktor took the permission and rubbed his thumb in light circles over Yuuri's skin. Firm and familiar - grounding Yuuri. It didn't always work, but it did help, sometimes.

A short time passed before Viktor said anything else. "If you want we should be able to get in a little ice time before public warm ups."  
"I'd like that." Yuuri answered.  
"Alright, go ahead and get dressed. Just warm up clothes. We'll get you into the costume later."  
A nod. Yuuri rose to get dressed and Viktor went ahead and double checked that everything they needed was packed up already. They had about half the day before they actually would come up to skate. Viktor was confident that he'd be able to get Yuuri calm enough that it would go well. 

They weren't alone on the ice when they got there - though there were no crowds, it was just a few of the other skaters already working their way around the ice. Warming up was a relatively quick affair, and then they took to the ice, skating lazily around each other. It was only after the first loop around the rink that they began to skate through simple choreography - loosely skating their side-by-side version of Stay Close to Me. It wasn't what they were going to do for the exhibition - this version had no lifts or any direct interaction between them. But, it was a nice warm up, and by now they both knew the program so well... and it meant  _so much_ to them. It was, ultimately, what had led the together permanently. And Viktor had once confided to Yuuri that during the season he'd skated it the program hadn't meant anything - that he'd just  _skated_ it.

But it was different now, even Viktor had admitted that. It was different because in some ways it had become  _their_ song. Theirs. The thought left Yuuri with a light warmth in his chest. "Vitya did you make sure they got the right disk for today?" Yuuri asked suddenly as they continued skating.  
Viktor nodded, "I did. And apologized for changing it on them at the last minute." Amused. "The guy seemed relieved that I gave it to him two days early instead of ten minutes before we took the ice though, so I'll take it as a win."

Yuuri laughed, and Viktor relaxed, just a little. If Yuuri's mood had lightened this much, chances were everything was going to be okay.

Finally they made their way off the ice, both of them heading into the changing rooms to actually get ready for their turn on the ice later. Not that either of them would take that long to get ready - but it was easier if they weren't rushing. Their costumes were both in the same three colors - black, silver, and violet. Both had the black as a base, but which designs were silver and which were violet were reversed on the two. Yuuri's ultimately had more silver, Viktor's more purple. Purple - the color that lay between the accent colors of their exhibition costumes for the year before. Both had a half-skirt similar to the costume that Yuuri had borrowed from Viktor the year before. The inside of Yuuri's half-skirt was purple while Viktor's was silver.

The day passed in a blur - watching pair skaters and talking with Yuuko, Phichit, and Chris. Arisu was there too, though she seemed to have been slightly overwhelmed by the presence of so many well-known skaters. At some point Yuuri had ended up taking a picture with the Japanese girl, much to Viktor's pleasure. ... Viktor always liked it when Yuuri connected with his fans.  
  
"You two should probably go rinkside." Chris mentioned. "Aren't you next?"  
"Oh right." Viktor laughed, "Yeah we should go."  
Yuuri nodded emphatically, and took Viktor's hand, leading him away from their cluster of friends.

They wasted no time skating to the center of the ring, still hand in hand. It was a practiced move - every part of this was, it had to be, lest they hurt one another. The opening position set them back to back -- Yuuri faced towards the north end of the rink, and Viktor to the south. Their fingers remained linked together for the moment. They mirrored on another, both looking up towards the ceiling of the rink, but also slightly over their shoulder - at their partner. Though they were posed so they didn't meet each other's gaze as they did so, as if each was unaware of the other's position. The music started, and they skated away from each other, grips releasing at the very last possible second.

Each turned, skating backwards as they did so - still going away from each other but reaching towards their partner - as if they could reach through the distance and grab each other. Yuuri twisted into a layback spin - Viktor glided into an upright spin. _High dive into frozen waves, where the past comes back to life._ Yuuri executed a triple axel while Viktor glided through a combination spin - a camel into a layback. They were drawing closer together - it was not conventional skating so far apart, performing wildly different elements. But nothing they did was conventional, and their story was far to complex for what the crowd _expected_ them to do. _Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends._ They had come together, this time, finally. They shifted to skating side by side, Viktor leading Yuuri into a twirl while sticking close to him. _Our clock ticks til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again_. Yuuri closed his eyes and threw his arms out wide as Viktor lifted him off of the ice. His back arched just so as he tossed his head back and Viktor lowered him back down. It was a simple waist hold lift, closer to something from ice dancing than pair skating.

They skated apart again, but only a foot or two, this time. _'Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need. Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why._ Yuuri skated away from Viktor, pushing himself into a single toe loop and then gliding into his own camel spin. Viktor skated after him, swirling a little, dancing patterns with a lovely step sequence. Yuuri answered with his own step sequence after his spin completed, and Viktor skated a wide circle around him. _If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy? If our love's insanity why are you my clarity?_ They skated side by side again, doing an intricate step sequence together, watching one another with a distant hunger - with desire.

The song continued, wrapping its way around them as they wound around one another. Skating in and out of one another's grasp. _If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you._ It was then that Yuuri took control of their performance. The lead shift was subtle at first, as it had been in their first pair skate - more side-by-side work and a twirl or two. The sorts of movements that only someone well-versed in pair skating would recognize as a shift in dominance. At least, until the major lift in Yuuri's half of the performance. "Are you still sure about this?" Yuuri breathed as they performed the last spin before the lift. Viktor inclined his head just slightly.

They skated side by side until they reached the long side of the rink, and then Viktor shifted to skating backwards, facing Yuuri. Only inches separated them. Yuuri didn't hesitate, not wanting to lose his nerve - he lifted Viktor solidly above his head in a position they'd been practicing for months - a star lift. Yuuri kept Viktor's hand in his own, and felt Viktor's other hand steady on his shoulder. They'd agreed to do nothing to make this more complicated than it already was, which meant Viktor had a reasonable amount of support in his position. And then it was over, and Viktor was gliding along effortlessly beside him.

The last notes of the song faded as they stopped, face to face in the center of the ice. Their hands were clasped together between them, and their eyes never left each other. Viktor was leaned just slightly forward, breathing hard. Yuuri's head was tilted upward, meeting that cerulean gaze. His own breath came fast, it had been an intense program - emotionally and physically. They kissed, chaste, but undeniable. "Aishiteru Vitya." Yuuri whispered against Viktor's lips, merely to see the Russian's eyes light up before they skated hand in hand back off of the ice.

"Oh my god you two!" Yuuko was right there as they were putting their guards back on. "That was so amazing!"  
"That was not a song I expected." It was Chris who said that. "But somehow it fit."  
"I'll take that as a complement." Viktor retorted with a smirk.  
"I can't believe you put Viktor in a star lift." From Phichit. "He's so much taller than you, doesn't that make the balance in that position hard?"

Yuuri snorted. That would be what Phichit latched onto, if it wasn't the kiss. "Well, we've been working on it for months. I hope it looked effortless though."  
"It did." Phichit said, nodding emphatically. "And the kiss!"  
"... And there's the rest of it."  
"On the ice! You two are so precious."  
"Phichit, please." Groaning slightly.  
"Gosh, if you put this much work into your exhibition piece I can't imagine what your real programs for this year look like."  
"Well you won't have to try for long." Viktor winked.

* * *

"Er. You want pictures of both of us?" Yuuri looked a little uncomfortable.  
The photographer nodded emphatically.  
"I'll ask him if he's okay with it. Do you have all the solo shots you want?"  
"We do, yes."

They'd already been taking pictures for more than an hour. And he'd sat through more than an hour long interview before that. Yuuri's ability to tolerate cameras flashing at him was starting to run out. But, he kept a smile on his face as he wandered over to where Viktor was chatting with Chris. He waited for the two of them to acknowledge him.

"Let me guess, they want a few of us both?" Viktor seemed to read the slightly clouded look in Yuuri's gaze, and the Japanese skater merely nodded.  
"I didn't anticipate that." Yuuri mumbled. "But they do, yeah."  
"Alright. Let's give them what they want so we can go to dinner, hm?"  
Yuuri nodded again, his eyes lighting up a bit with renewed energy that he only sort of felt.

Getting the paired pictures that the photographer wanted took another half hour. Half an hour of being posed around each other, looking either at each other adoringly or towards the camera. When they looked at the proofs, Yuuri had to say the ones he liked the best was the pair where they recreated their starting and ending positions from their pair skate.  
"So, would you like a copy of the proofs from the shoot?"  
For once, Yuuri nodded. "Yes, actually."  
"Good, good." The photographer seemed pleased. "Are there any particular ones you absolutely want to veto from being used?"

Yuuri was quiet for a moment, looking over the spread of photos on the laptop screen, and then he shook his head. "No, none of them are ones I wouldn't want seen. But if any are used beyond this seasons advertisements I'd like to know before hand."  
"Of course Katsuki-san. It'd be incredibly rude to use your image without consulting you first."

They stood around for a few moments while Yuuri's copy of the proofs was made. As the photographer went to hand them over he opened his mouth to speak, but Yuuri politely held up one hand. "I know, they absolutely cannot be posted anywhere or shared with the public until the final images are chosen, and then only the rejected proofs can be posted. The selected ones cannot be posted until at least a month after the first release of the ad they're a part of."

The photographer looked impressed. "People don't normally read that disclaimer." He sounded amused.  
"I read everything I'm agreeing to before I sign things." Yuuri said with a simple shrug.

He and Viktor returned to their hotel then, dropping off the proofs and also changing clothes. Yuuri glanced at his phone. "Hm. I think Yakov may have found time to watch the pair skate stream..."  
"Oh?" Viktor sounded slightly concerned.  
"I have three missed calls from him. ... And a voice mail."  
Viktor winced. "If your phone looks like that, I dread to see what he's done to mine."

Yuuri laughed softly. "Right?" He pressed play on the voicemail. "Uh... something... mostly unintelligible, heh. How can you be so irresponsible, what if one of you had been hurt. ... Something... something. Um. ...working on that stunt behind my back. Something like... I expected this from Vitya, but trusted you to have better judgement." Yuuri snorted. "And then he seems to run out of steam and vaguely congratulates us for a good performance and hung up."  
"Maybe we shouldn't tell him the lift was entirely your idea." Viktor mused. "It will ruin his image of you forever."

"So can I ask you a question?" Viktor asked, his tone was light though, obviously meant to put Yuuri at ease.  
"Of... course you can?"  
"Aishiteru?" It was only one word, but Viktor's tone made what he was asking crystal clear.

Yuuri laughed, tension rushing out of him as he realized that was all Viktor wanted to know. "It just means I love you." Immediately. "It's... um. Not used lightly though." Carefully. "The sort of thing only ever said if forever is almost a certainty." He had a blush growing on his cheeks, but kept his eyes on Viktor. He wasn't disappointed though, given the sudden heart shaped smile on his Finance's face.

"So you're that sure then?" Viktor had closed the distance between them, gazing down at him with half-lidded eyes.  
"Yes." Yuuri said with a surprising amount of confidence. "Yes, I'm that sure. Vitya do you have any idea how long I have loved you?"  
"No." Viktor admitted in a breathy whisper against Yuuri's lips before claiming them. This kiss was far less chaste than the one they'd shared on the ice.

Finally it was Yuuri who pulled away. "If we're going to go to dinner with Chris and Phichit and Yuuko we should go." He said firmly.  
Viktor let out a frustrated sound - but it was more than half teasing. "You're right, of course." A pause to steal another kiss. "We'll just have to pick this up later."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shipping joke was necessary since it's basically canon that Phichit is a social media goer - I mean the guy has a selfie stick, and you can't tell me that Viktor and Yuuri don't have fans who are shipping them IRL. This is definitely a thing in RL fandoms. ... Sometimes to a disturbing level (anyone who belong(s/ed) to the Tokio Hotel fandom can probably understand where I'm coming from here).
> 
> The aquarium trip was totally necessary. Vitya acting like a kid at christmas was totally fun to write.
> 
> Find a song for them to pair skate to that didn't threaten to become half explicit in my head was harder than expected. They almost ended up skating to Take Me To Church (Hozier) or Closer (Chain Smokers + Halsey). What they ended up skating to is a male version of Clarity (by Zedd, originally, I think). For what I had in mind, go look up the Sam Tsui cover of clarity. I really wanted to find a duet version of it but I couldn't find one that satisfied what I wanted. So... I was going to let them skate to Stay Close to Me but Viktor has that thing about surprising the crowd, so I couldn't imagine them pair skating the same thing twice.
> 
> also [this](http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/1skate022208.JPG) is a (standard) star lift, btw. It can be made to be worth more points by releasing the lifted partners hand and by the lifted partner not holding onto the lifting partner's shoulder. Doing so would mean the only point of support is the hip and neither Yuuri or Viktor wanted to do anything that risky with as little time to practice as they had. Plus Phichit is right about Viktor's height making balance a very slight issue - overcome-able but let's not push our luck, yeah?
> 
> edit: holy shit when I said longer I didn't expect it to break 7000 words. I'm sorry guys ><


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor competes in a regional competition to requalify for the Prix, and the storm that has been lurking under the surface for months seems to come to a head.

They were only at home in St. Petersburg for a few days before they had to travel again for Viktor's first competition of the season. Yakov would be with them, this time. Viktor had been kept to light practices in the few days they were home, Yakov had cited there being no point in pushing him so quickly after the exhibition. Besides, he needed to rest a little, if he was going to do his best at the competition.

Not that anyone was really worried about his performance. It'd been a long time since Viktor had _had_ to participate in this level of competition, and no one was really concerned that he wouldn't score high enough to advance. It was a formality, important to re-qualify for the Grand Prix and later for Russian nationals, but nothing more than a stepping stone.

"Delight the crowd, Vitya, but don't bother to push yourself." Yakov was saying as they stood rink side, it was a public practice session two days before the actual event.  
"I know, I know." Laughing. "I should peak at the Grand Prix, not here."  
"I dunno," Yuuri started, leaning against the rink's barrier. "I was more thinking you shouldn't utterly crush your competition."  
"... That too." Viktor looked vaguely embarrassed. "Skate with me?" He rebounded rather quickly.

"Vitya... the practice session is for those actually competing." Dryly. "If you want we can probably get some ice time later, after the rink reopens for public use."

Viktor pouted, but he nodded and skated off, apparently intent to get this over with.

"So..."  
"Katsuki you're no good at small talk. Don't try." Yakov's voice was gruff.  
A snort. "I won't then. In your professional opinion, what would it take to land a quad axel?" Yuuri wasn't looking at Yakov, didn't want to see the reaction on the old man's face - his eyes were on Viktor. Even so, he could feel Yakov's gaze on him.  
"A miracle." Was the gruff response.  
Yuuri waited, but Yakov didn't elaborate. "Right. Okay."

Viktor circled passed them twice before either of them said anything. "Your axel is good." Yakov spoke in an uncharacteristically quiet tone, more thoughtful than anything. "More speed going into it, don't forget your center of gravity. Keep your landing leg steady, don't be afraid to step out of it if you can't keep the landing together. You might be able to pull off a quad. _Maybe._ " It was a more thorough response than Yuuri had anticipated. "But this is a discussion you should be having with your coach, not me."

"I didn't want to spring it on him while he's busy setting up for his own competitions. I thought I'd surprise him with it, like I did the Flip." Fidgeting slightly. "Someone mentioned it while we were in Tokyo, and I was going to dismiss it out of hand, but I had to wonder if it might be possible." Shrugging just a hair.

"Well if you're going to keep it under wraps, hold it for Finals." Flat. "But I don't know when you intend to practice it and not have him find out."  
"I'll figure it out." Shrugging again.

Yuuri was distracted by his phone then - a flood of notifications hitting both his public and private social media accounts. He flipped through them - not recognizing the usernames on any of the alerts, granted they were all similar enough that Yuuri suspected they were likely the same person on many different platforms. He frowned just a hair as he skimmed the contents of the messages. They were in English, and it seemed the threats had returned. He locked his screen and shoved his phone back into his pocket, mentally making a note to beg Phichit into looking at it again. Yuuri also decided he wasn't going to tell Viktor anything about it, not this close to a competition. Afterward, he'd tell him when it was over, but Yuuri hoped it would be over by then.

He'd managed to bring a smile back to his expression by the time Viktor stepped off the ice.  
"You have the rest of the day free." Yakov sounded dismissive, but there was a slight fondness in his voice. "Don't make me regret it." He added, as an after thought.

Viktor laughed, but stole Yuuri's hand and led him away.  
"We should have lunch before we get back on the ice." Firmly from Yuuri.  
Viktor nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Vitya!" It was an unfamiliar voice, Yuuri's attention jerked towards the individual who spoke, even as Viktor's hand tightened on his, tight enough it actually hurt. Yuuri made a soft noise of protest.  
Viktor glared at the stranger for a moment before turning on his heel and beginning to walk away.  
"Vitya, wait. I want to talk to you." He'd rushed to end up in front of them only a moment later.

Viktor reeled back a step, eyes narrowed sharply. "I've made it clear I have no interest in discussing anything with you." Viktor's voice was barely controlled. "Please leave."  
"Vitya-"  
"And stop calling me that." The Russian skater snapped. "You lost that privilege long ago." He paused for less than the span of a heartbeat. "Come on Yuuri."

The Japanese skater followed wordlessly. Viktor didn't loosen his grip on Yuuri's hand until they'd gotten into the elevator back at their own hotel. Yuuri rubbed at his wrist slightly, and Viktor grimaced. "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean-"  
"It's fine." Yuuri soothed, tone almost dismissive. "But who was that?"  
"My father." His tone was terse at best, still narrowly controlled.

Oh. Well. Things had just gotten a few dozen times more complicated, hadn't they? "I'm sorry." Almost reflexively.  
"So am I." Viktor's tone was grim as he closed their hotel room door behind them.  
"Should I text Yakov what happened?"

Viktor made a noise that Yuuri couldn't actually decipher as affirmative or not. "I'm... going to need you to be a bit clearer."  
"I don't want to. But we should." Viktor said after a moment.  
"I'll do it." Yuuri murmured.

_So, while we were leaving the rink we were accosted by Viktor's father. Nothing happened, except he kept insisting that he wanted to talk. Viktor's pretty upset, but we're back at the hotel now. Doing what I can in the way of damage control... Oh, and I picked up another round of threats. English this time. No I haven't told Viktor, and I don't really want to this close to the competition.  
_ Yakov took only a moment before responding. _Stay close to him, Katsuki._ It wasn't much of a response, but it said enough, Yuuri supposed. Not that he needed to be told to stay close to Viktor, not after that.

That done he folded onto the bed beside Viktor who was laying face down with his forehead leaning against one arm.

Yuuri said nothing for the moment - there was no point. Viktor was too wound up to talk about it anyway. Instead Yuuri began rubbing Viktor's back, focusing his attention on all the tense spots.  
"You up for me ordering something for us?"  
"Please." His voice was less strained than it had been. ".... You're too good to me."  
"You'd do the same for me." Deflecting lightly.

Lunch was a quiet affair. But afterward, Viktor had clearly grown restless. "I want to do something." Finally. "But I don't want to go back out there and risk running into him."

Yuuri made a noise, noncommittal, despite his thoughtful expression. His brown eyes were focused on the screen of his phone.  
"Are... you even listening?" Viktor asked after a moment. He didn't sound annoyed, just a touch concerned.  
"Yes. You want to do something, you don't want to go out because he could still be there. I heard." His voice was distracted. "I'm just not sure what to do about that yet."

There was silence for another few minutes Yuuri still tapping away at his phone. ... Momentarily he regretted not bringing his laptop with him, but it was fine, this was enough. He sent off a last text to Phichit and then shifted his attention to Viktor's need to burn off energy. He made a quick judgement, and made a phone call to the front desk.

"Come on."  
"Hmmm?" Viktor seemed confused.  
"Got permission from the front desk to use one of the big open rooms they do some of the convention events in, since it's not in use at the moment. As long as we don't leave a mess, but we won't." A pause. "Bring your ipod. ... between the two of us we have a crazy music selection." He hesitated, in the middle of changing into something comfortable. "I mean, it's not the same as getting back on the ice, but it's been a while since we danced together."  
"And you'll remember it this time." The last of the tension had left Viktor's voice, and the words had nearly come out as a purr.

Yuuri couldn't help but smile at the sound. "Yeah, I will."

* * *

Yuuri had expected bed that night to be difficult, but... he hadn't really known what to expect. Certainly waking up at three am to Viktor whimpering in his sleep hadn't been it, watching for a moment as Viktor twisted - obviously struggling against the blankets as they manifested as something terrible in his dream.  
"Vitya." Yuuri's voice was breathy as his hand gently carded through Viktor's silver hair. "Vitya-chan, it's just a dream."

Viktor awoke with a start, and for a moment didn't seem to know what to make of Yuuri. His breathing came in harsh pants as his eyes suddenly became all too watery. His next breath came out a choked sob, and Yuuri gently pulled him closer. The Japanese man shifted them around until Viktor lay more than half on top of him, settled just so his head rested on Yuuri's chest, wrapped in his arms. Viktor seemed to come to his senses enough to shift around and cling to Yuuri. The older man never really dissolved into tears as Yuuri had half expected him to.

They lay like that for a while, Yuuri murmuring quietly and rubbing Viktor's back.  
"I hate that he can still do this to me." Viktor mumbled after a while, the words half lost in Yuuri's shirt.  
Yuuri made a sympathetic noise as he carded his fingers through Viktor's hair again.

"He hated that I kept my hair long." It seemed like such a random thing to say, but Yuuri knew it couldn't be.   
He frowned, just slightly. "Should I not run my fingers through it?"  
"No, I like it when you do that." Immediately. "I just... he hated it. Hated my hair, hated my skating. I was never enough for him. I can't understand why he's coming back now."  
"Oh Vitya..." Yuuri murmured as Vitya snuggled against his chest again.

Yuuri shifted them again so that they lay on their sides, though he kept Viktor cradled against him. Viktor eventually dozed back off, and it was only then that Yuuri allowed himself to relax and sleep.

The next morning was nearly impossible to face given that neither of them had slept well.  
"Don't bother." He murmured as Viktor started to sit up. "Go back to sleep."  
"But-"  
"Yakov has already forbidden you from showing up for public practice. We can rest until the interviews later." Pausing. "So the only reason to get up now would be if you're hungry."  
"Did you tell him?"  
"I didn't have to. He texted me to ask if we were up yet, I texted back to say you weren't. ... He told me not to let you come." Yuuri shrugged.  
"Why is he texting you?"  
"Probably because you didn't answer."  
"Going back to sleep sounds nice." Viktor mumbled.  
"Mm. Then come here, I was enjoying cuddles."

They managed another few hours of rest at least before finally having to give up and face the day. It wasn't quite enough, but it would get them through the day, and Viktor didn't have to skate until tomorrow. Yuuri hoped that they would have peace until after the competition. They just needed a few days, a few days to deal with this competition, and then they could go home. ... And pray this shadow didn't follow them there.

Yuuri had no idea what they'd do if that happened.

* * *

It was during the free skate that it happened. Yuuri was sitting in the audience - Viktor had protested it rather harshly, had demanded Yuuri be allowed to stay with Yakov, but ultimately he hadn't been given rinkside clearance for this competition. Yuuri didn't mind really, though he hated that it bothered Viktor so much. He'd come into the free skate in first, of course, and so he was taking the ice very last today. No one was going to be surprised when ultimately he won gold, but that didn't mean Yuuri wasn't interested in watching - he loved watching his Fiance skate - he always had.

Yuuri hadn't paid any attention to who was sitting next to him, at least not until whoever-it-was grabbed his arm. Brown eyes snapped from the rink to the man beside him. An older man, hair gray - presumably with age. Yuuri recognized him with a feeling akin to a kick in the stomach.

_Viktor's father._

His mind blanked slightly as he pulled his arm free of the other male - or tried. The older man had a stronger grip then he was expecting, and Yuuri found he couldn't free himself without causing a scene. Which... he didn't really want to do. Not here, not now.

"So you're the blue _blyad'_ * my Vitya has gotten himself wrapped up with."  
"He's not yours." Yuuri focused on that, centering himself as he felt rage boiling up within him rather than the fear he'd anticipated.  
"He's my son. Surely he's told you that much."   
"That doesn't make him _yours._ " Yuuri hissed. 

It seemed to be at that moment that Viktor sought him from the edge of the rink - mid-jump. Yuuri didn't know that because he saw it, of course, his eyes were still on the older Russian beside him, not trusting him enough to look away. But he knew because the announcer mentioned Nikiforov seeming distracted before flubbing his jump - dropping a hand to the ice before tumbling entirely, something no one had seen Viktor do since he was nineteen.  He did rise and continue his program, according to the announcer, but there were whispers throughout the crowd.

"You know he'll get bored of you, right? He always does."  
"I don't feel like you're a very good judge of that." Flat, terse. "Now leave us alone."  
"You can't keep my son from me."  
"He doesn't want to see you. You shouldn't have come here. Now let me go." Growling.

People were starting to shift in their seats to watch them argue. The Russian's hand tightened on Yuuri's wrist hard enough he wondered if he'd have bruises.

"I believe he asked you to leave him alone."

Salvation came in many forms, strange ones, sometimes. Today it came in the form of a Russian skater who had been Viktor's rinkmate for years - Georgi and Yuuri weren't really friends, but in that moment, he'd never been so thankful to see the melodramatic skater. "You should go to Yakov." Georgi continued. "He managed to convince them to let you join Viktor at the kiss and cry. Go." The skater made a shooing motion.

Yuuri slid his hand out of the Russian man's grasp and allowed himself to be herded down towards one side of the rink.

"What happened up there?" Yakov was frustratingly perceptive sometimes. "Vitya was looking at you when he went down. What did he see?"  
"His father." Yuuri's tone was clipped enough it surprised _him._ "Thought it would be cute to harass me during the program."   
"Are you okay?"  
"Just fine." He tried to control his tone and failed, rubbing absently at the red marks on his arm where the Russian had been holding him. The music had ended which meant Viktor would be joining them any moment. Yuuri managed to smooth his expression, at least enough that the cameras, fans, the media, they would see Yuuri as his usual serene self. They had to - this didn't need to be exploded all over the tabloids, and it was bad enough there had been people close enough to hear the argument.

As soon as Viktor _had_ joined them, before he even let the other skater sit down, Yuuri hugged him tightly. Then they sat - Yuuri on one side of Viktor, Yakov on the other. Yakov was giving a customary lecture about the program - but Viktor was obviously not listening.   
"Are you okay?" It was Yuuri who asked the question first. "You fell..."  
"I landed alright." It was dismissive. "Though I can't believe I took that bad of a fall." Just slightly disgusted sounding. And then Viktor went tense.  
"Viktor. Cameras." Soft, too low for anyone except Viktor and maybe Yakov to hear. Yuuri slid his arm around behind Viktor - hugging him loosely and removing the red marks from his view, at least for the moment.

The smile that Viktor-on-the-screen was giving was much too forced, even for a camera-smile. Yuuri wondered if anyone but his rinkmates knew it.

Silver. Viktor would take silver thanks to a number of small mistakes alongside the fall. It was enough, it would be enough.

Yuuri stayed with Yakov during the medal ceremony, Yakov using the assault in the stands as a reason to keep him from being sent back.

Still, as he watched Viktor take the podium for his silver medal, Yuuri wondered what was going to happen with the Nikiforov patriarch, if they couldn't get this under control. The man obviously wasn't going to go away, and if just a glimpse of him could throw Viktor off this viciously... it would be a difficult season, to say the least.

* * *

"He hurt you." Viktor sounded torn between desperation and rage. Yuuri leaned against him quietly.   
"I'm fine Viktor." He promised softly. It was the truth, despite the mottled bruising on his arm. He was  _fine_ , really just more annoyed than anything. Yuuri glanced up at Yakov, and tilted his head slightly to one side. "What's the damage?"  
"The argument was recorded by someone in the audience behind you, they were originally recording the program."

Yuuri swore. "That's just what we need."   
"Some of your fans are wondering if he's the one who put out the threats."

Yuuri froze with his hand pressed to his forehead, mostly covering his eyes, which were currently pressed shut. "Oh that's just lovely." He couldn't even deny that it had crossed his mind briefly. He huffed in frustration and then he dropped onto the side of the bed. Yakov took that as a sign to sit, though he opted for the chair by the desk, and Viktor sat next to Yuuri.

"How clear is the video?"  
"Not very. It's all from behind, though you turn to the side partway through and your profile is relatively recognizable. The audio is, unfortunately, crystal clear. There's background noise, but not enough to blur what's being said."

"What did he say, Yuuri?"  
"Viktor I'm not sure..."  
"Well, the way I see it eventually I'm going to have to know what happened because I'm going to be grilled about it. You may as well tell me instead of me watching this video." There was a flicker of a pause. "Please Yuuri."  
Yuuri sighed. The last thing he wanted was for Viktor to watch the video, because somehow he imagined that the snarl in the Russian's voice would only make things a hundred times worse.   
"Unfortunately he's right. Forewarned is forearmed. And the media is not going to let this go."

Against his better judgement Yuuri outlined the conversation that had been had. Viktor - predictably - seethed over the new information. "What are we going to do with this?" Viktor asked finally, blue eyes finally seeking Yakov's form.   
"I would advise a press conference." Carefully. "I know there are questions you don't want to answer, but getting ahead of the media would be for the best. Releasing some sort of a joint statement addressing the attack and the threats and reiterating that you won't be answering any questions about either matter. It will also allow you to address the video of you being incredibly standoffish with him, in which most people believed he was a fan." Which they both knew was something that could hurt Viktor's image. 

"I don't really like that idea." Viktor said in an even tone.  
"I know, Vitya." Yakov sighed. "But would you prefer them hounding you at every competition instead?"  
"They'll do that anyway." Yuuri pointed out dryly.  
"Yes, but at least he'll have a prepared response for it." A pause. "Just think about it Vitya. I would suggest doing it on home turf anyway, so you don't have to decide right now."

"I'm just glad we'll be home soon." Seeming to change the subject - but all three of them knew Viktor would consider Yakov's advice.   
Yuuri nodded emphatically. "Home would be nice, right about now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The competition in this one really does take a major backseat the the rest of everything. For one I didn't feel like writing another whole competition (I'm sorry for those who were looking forward to Viktor's long program! If you're curious I'm headcanoning him as skating to A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. That may change before it's actually referenced mid-story.) and for another the heating up of this chapter was important and I didn't want another 7000 word chapter if I could help it. Lol. 
> 
> *if ... if my research went well that should be blue slut/whore (re: blue being Russian slang for gay)   
> Yes. Vitya-chan. Because I can't imagine him calling Viktor the same thing he called his dog ok. 
> 
> Also um. apparently have 2 chapters in less than 24 hours.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, actually. He doesn't mind at all. ... In fact [Yakov]'s threatened at least twice that if I screw up with you too badly he's stealing you because you're the best behaved one of us at the rink..." A thoughtful pause. "I think he may have been joking when he threatened to choose you over me, but still."

It was a relief to be back in Saint Petersburg. It didn't make everything better, of course, but it did at least give them a sense of familiarity. And being in his own home, in his own bed, seemed to ease Viktor's nightmares. Yuuri still ended up sitting up later than usual for a few days, just watching the older skater and making sure he was going to be okay. Things started to go back to normal though, a little at a time. After two weeks, life had settled back into their regular pattern.

"So what's the plan for this press conference?"  
"The conference will be held in English. Written copy of our statements will be given to the media in English and Russian, Mila has graciously agreed to do on the fly translations for any questions we agree to answer, and she'll be penning those down so we can create a neat copy and release that to the media for their reports as well, and a copy for our own purposes. English copies of our statements will be released on our social media and transcripts of any questions will be added as well. I will be releasing a Russian copy of both statements on my own accounts and Yuuri will be releasing them and the questions in Japanese. It gives us pretty much absolute coverage. My English post will have a link to his account for the Japanese and his will link to my Russian release. ... Just to direct any fans that manage to turn themselves around."

"You two have put a lot of thought into it." That was Mila, she sounded kind of surprised.  
"Well, if we were going to do it, there was no point it doing it sloppily." Yuuri responded with a slight shrug.  
Viktor nodded. "Besides, if we go into it with a solid plan then we are less likely to mess up and manage to say more than either of us meant to." Pausing. "Which considering the relatively delicate nature of what's going on, we don't want to do that."

It made sense, for sure - handling things in a sloppy sort of way would only lead to the media making an even bigger deal about things. Which, that was something neither of them were willing to tolerate. They didn't need the media making any more messes.

"So how much are you releasing?"  
"Mm. We're still working out the exact statements we intend to release." Viktor voiced after a moment. "We intend to address the argument in the stands as part of an on going pattern of harassment without actually revealing anything particularly interesting. I will be confirming the claim of him being my father, but I'm going to refuse absolutely any questions on that particular angle. Yuuri intends to comment that there is no proof that the threats have any ties to the argument in the stands. And I believe he intends to speak very briefly on the threats and the fact that while he's reported the incident it's not something he's concerned about. ... Right?"  
Yuuri nodded. "More or less." Yeah, that summed it up. Viktor was going to go over the statement anyway, to make sure he didn't end up putting his foot in his mouth figuratively.

"Do you believe there's no tie between the argument and the threats?" That was Yakov, honing in as usual.  
"There's no reason to believe he was behind them." Viktor said in an even tone. "It's possible, of course. He certainly has the right mindset for it. But I can't see why he would target Yuuri and not reach out to me."  
"It doesn't take a genius to figure out that katsudon is generally the more easily upset of you two. It takes even less to realize that undermining him undermines _you_ , geezer." Yura, abrasive but perceptive as always. "What do you do when you don't want to get your hands dirty? You chip away at the base. Like it or not old man, the pig has become your base and anyone who wants to sabotage you knows it."  
"Yuri do you have to be so rude?" Mila sounded exasperated.  
"I'll show you rude hag."   
" _Children_." It wasn't hard to realize that Yakov had had quite enough.

"Damn." Viktor clearly hadn't considered that angle.  
Yuuri patted his arm. "We'll get through this." Confidently. "But Yura _is_ right about there being a reason to target me. I just don't want to feed into speculation. So... admitting there's no proof that it was him and leaving it there."  
It was about there that Viktor realized Yuuri had already considered it a genuine possibility, even if he hadn't.

* * *

The press conference had turned out to be less of an unmitigated disaster than either of them had feared it would be. It was nice though, having something turn out the way they expected it to.

The good news was that Viktor had finished qualifying for the GP Series. And assignments had come out. Viktor was skating in Skate America and Rostelecom Cup. Yuuri was skating in Cup of China, again, and the Trophée de France. Yuri would be skating in Cup of China and Rostelecom Cup, which meant the younger Russian would skate against  _both_ of them, but they wouldn't compete directly against each other until the GPF. Phichit was skating in Skate America and the Cup of China, which was kind of exciting, because at least Yuuri would see him once before finals. Chris was skating Rostelecom and the Cup of China, which pleased Viktor. 

"Well, we have our assignments." Yuuri seemed pleased.  
"I'm disappointed, I have to wait to skate on the same ice as you until the finals."  
"Good that means I'll have a shot at qualifying." Rolling his eyes. The words were toned to be more teasing than self-depreciating, but Viktor still frowned. "Don't look at me like that." Dryly. "Besides, it means you can focus on your competitions and I can focus on mine. ... Arranging the finals is going to be fun as it is."  
"I figured Yakov could probably act as standing coach if we are skating way too close together, but otherwise we can join each other at the kiss and cry, ecetera."

Yuuri nodded slightly. "Have you run this by him at least?"  
"Yes, actually. He doesn't mind at all. ... In fact he's threatened at least twice that if I screw up with you too badly he's stealing you because you're the best behaved one of us at the rink..." A thoughtful pause. "I think he may have been joking when he threatened to choose you over me, but still."  
"Guess we'd better not test him." Another teasing tone. 

Not that Yuuri would ever do anything that might jeopardize Viktor's career or relationship with Yakov. Sure, sometimes Viktor did silly things - but as long as he was going to skate Yakov was the only coach for the Russian.  
"Oh, oh. By the way, Yakov wanted you to stop by his office tomorrow after practice. Something... about some paperwork you need to sign so that we don't have any issues at Nationals like we did at sectionals."  
"... I will do that then."  
"Spend an hour or two in the studio with me?" Viktor asked, gaze slightly hopeful.  
"If Madame Baranovskaya doesn't mind."  
"I don't see why she would. She likes you."  
"Does she?" Yuuri seemed surprised.  
"Yes." There was confidence in Viktor's tone. 

Yuuri was sure he should have known that, but it was hard to imagine the severe woman liking anyone who was, in any way, a threat or challenge to Yuri's career. On the other hand, most of the Russian team seemed to have adopted him as one of their own in some strange way. So maybe this was just... one of those things.

* * *

 

"You know, when you asked for studio time, you indicated it would be solo, Viktor." Lilia's voice was not as disapproving as Yuuri had been afraid it would be.   
"I know." He didn't fidget, instead meeting her gaze head on. "But I decided I wanted Yuuri here."  
"Studio room 3 should have enough space for you both. I was going to observe your practice, but with Yuuri present I don't believe it will be necessary. I will look in from time to time. I expect you both to be  _working_ not fawning over each other."   
"You know, I'm surprised Lilia watches most of your practices." Yuuri said in a quiet voice, leading the way to studio room three.

"She and Yakov are all too aware that I'm occasionally guilty of pushing myself too hard."  
"Occasionally?" In an extremely dry tone of voice.   
"The difference is Yakov usually lets me modulate myself anyway. Lilia says I'm not allowed in the studio alone anymore." There was a slight pause. "Of course, given my last major sprain was a result of spending way too long in the dance studio I can't entirely blame her."

They fell into a companionable silence as they both worked through stretches and basic warm ups. Neither really noticed the first time Lilia poked her head in to make sure they were actually working. Viktor was working through a series of Barre stretches while Yuuri began working through a series of basic ballet poses. 

"I don't believe you ever told me who your original instructor was."  
Yuuri, to his credit, didn't jump at the sound of her voice interrupting their stillness. "Oh, um. Okukawa Minako-sensei taught me ballet."  
"Did you ever do any recitals for her?"  
He shook his head as he moved through the next series of poses. "No, I started dancing when I was really young, but she pushed me into ice skating rather than keeping to ballet. I did learn portions of a few full performances but..." He shrugged. "My only performances have been on the ice."

She left them to their own devices then.   
"I wonder if she's familiar with Minako." Viktor sounded thoughtful.  
"It's possible." Yuuri shrugged. "...Please do not tell me that is the best Arabesque you can manage."  
Viktor snorted. "I won't then."  
Yuuri groaned. "Okay, stop. You're going to land on your ankle wrong and shred a tendon."

Yuuri watched and made polite corrections and Viktor's form cleaned up relatively quickly, as he found himself sliding back into practice. Yuuri didn't allow Viktor's form to be sloppy, but required somewhat less in the way of utter perfection. Once Yuuri was comfortable with the fact that Viktor's form had cleaned up enough that injuries were unlikely he went back to his own forms. 

"So I find myself wondering how rigorously she tested you if she was fine leaving you to oversee my studio time." Viktor was taking a short break, sipping on water while Yuuri worked through pirouettes and arabesques and a few of the more complicated floor patterns.   
"By the end of it she said that if I wasn't already well and truly claimed by the ice she would want me as a dance instructor."  
"High praise from her."  
"I'm not sure why, honestly. I'm not that good."  
Viktor snorted. "One day, zolotse, I'm going to make you see yourself the way I see you."

Yuuri dipped his head, slightly embarrassed.  
"Are you done?" Lilia was asking.  
"Not really. Just taking a water break." Holding up the bottle. "Yuuri was showing me an idea he had for this season's exhibitions. Since we're pretty sure we can't pair skate them all."  
"No." Firmly. "But I was thinking doing two intertwining pieces would be fun." Yuuri had stopped working through the basic choreography to join the conversation.  
"I don't want to do anything terribly traditional. I'm not skating different arrangements of a piece from Swan Lake or something."  
Yuuri snorted. "What, you mean you won't skate as Odette for me, Vitya?" Mock-distressed.  
"No." Flat. "Maybe in an off season gala. But not this season."

"Fair." Bemused. "I'm sure we can find something suitably non-traditional."

Lilia arched an eyebrow slightly, but before she could say anything else to Viktor, Yuuri was motioning for him to come back onto the floor properly.

"Are you going to kill us if we do something that isn't ballet?" Yuuri asked, peering over the Russian male's shoulder. "Because if you are, I'd appreciate it if you at least waited until after the song's over."  
Lilia said nothing, but she also didn't leave.  
Yuuri was going to take that as silent approval. "Stay." Firmly as he scrambled across the room long enough to snag his ipod and quickly change songs. It had taken some work, carefully questioning the right people to find out what song he and Viktor had even danced to the night of the Sochi banquet. But finally Christophe had taken pity on him and given him the song's name. Yuuri queued it to play, and let the last moment of the previous song finish while he returned to Viktor's side.

Neither of them said anything, but Viktor watched him with curiosity as Yuuri took one of Viktor's hands in his own and settled the other around the Russian skater's waist. Reflexively Viktor echoed the movement, posing himself correctly just as the music began the play around them. Yuuri led, at first - the way he clearly had been in the pictures from the Banquet. Gentler, sure, and steadier on his feet, but still leading, still so completely intent on Viktor as they danced and the music swirled around them.

Viktor allowed himself to be led, clearly caught off guard by Yuuri's choice to recreate the night that ultimately had sealed their fate - binding together two people who would have otherwise never looked at one another. Except this time they were both sober, and they'd both remember this in the morning. As the song ended he dipped viktor - not quite the plunging dangerous-seeming dip that they had shared the first time, but he was no less in control of it.

When they rose, Viktor took the lead. The next song had a faster tempo, the words a slur of Spanish that neither one of them were trying very hard to understand. Yuuri obediently allowed himself to be swirled and dipped at Viktor's whim and control - trusting, completely trusting that the Russian wouldn't let him be hurt.

"You two are hopeless." Her tone was _still_ not particularly disapproving, Yuuri couldn't help but note. In fact, there was a tone to it that sounded almost fond, but the Japanese skater was sure he was imagining that. He heard the door close behind her and knew they were finally alone as the second song came to a close. Yuuri allowed himself to stretch up just enough to kiss Viktor full on the lips in light of that, before lightly dancing back out of reach.

"Alright, you should probably go through that choreography one more time before we really do call it a night." Yuuri sounded almost wistful. "Should I change the music back?"  
Viktor nodded, and Yuuri obligingly put the music back to _Young and Beautiful_.

* * *

"So, tell me..." Yuuri was standing rinkside, having only just emerged from Yakov's office. Viktor was skimming his way through his free skate, but stilled at the sound of Yuuri's voice and skated over to the edge.  
"Tell you what?" Viktor prompted, tone curious.  
"Did Yakov tell you what the paperwork was, exactly?"  
"Nope. I didn't ask. Didn't seem important."

"Of course it wouldn't to you." Dryly  
"Well, no. I trust Yakov, he wouldn't do anything damaging to either of us." There was a confidence in that tone that Yuuri envied, just slightly.

"Anyway, I'm pretty sure as far as the RSF and ISU are concerned, I'm your co-coach, under Yakov."  
Blink. "Oh, well that's a creative way around the restrictions." The Russian sounded thoughtful.

"That's... all you have to say?" Almost incredulous.  
"What else would I say?" Amused. "Besides, after yesterday in the dance studio you can't pretend that you _don't_ pay enough attention to qualify. And anything that keeps you beside me instead of in the stands works well for me." Firmly. "Now, as I recall, we have dinner reservations, hm?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written listening to various linkin park songs (mostly the One More Light album). And despite the fact this fic has little to do with Linkin Park, this is me dedicating this chapter to Linkin Park's Chester Bennington. LP got me through some really dark, dark places and I'm not sure I'd be here today if it weren't for the wings that music gave me, so to speak.
> 
> And since it's pretty much canon that Yuuri, at least, skates and dances away his distress, it's not hard to imagine that music has, in a sense, given him wings as well. 
> 
> I was originally going to write in the actual press conference but every attempt at it was really awkward. So this is what we ended up with instead. 
> 
> For the qualifier matchups I did put some of them in the text but it seemed like it was going to get way out of hand if I put everyone there. Soooo I fully randomized all the (male) skaters to get the groupings below. Yes I know minami didn't compete in the GP the season before this. The randomizer REALLY liked a few of them, so I capped them at 6 entrants to space people out better. As tempting as it was, I haven't moved anyone, so these groupings are 100% random.
> 
> Rostelecom Cup: Viktor, Yuri, Christophe, JJ, Minami, Emil  
> Skate Canada: Otabek, JJ, Georgi, Leo  
> Cup of China: Yuuri, Yuri, Phichit, Christophe, Guang-Hong, Seung Gil  
> NHK Trophy: Otabek, Michele, Seung Gil  
> Trophee de France: Yuuri, Michele, Minami  
> Skate America: Viktor, Phichit, Guang-Hong, Emil, Georgi, Leo
> 
> I haven't figured out how I'm going to decide who proceeds to finals tbh. I don't want to randomize because some are obviously better than others, but I don't really want to play favorites lol. My next update for this story may be somewhat delayed because I know where I'm _going_ but I need to figure out what's going to happen between now and then to bridge the pieces and smooth things out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes Rostelecom cup! Our first qualifier of the season!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sedate chapter. I'm trying very hard not to rush through to the next major plot point. It's a little glossy, and I'm sorry for that. I was having a really hard time getting focused on it but I knew if I didn't do something on it soon I'd never go any further on this story. Please forgive me for the hiatus.

It was early morning, Viktor was still in bed, even. Yuuri had made his way down to the rink and was skating lazy circles around the edge - only half paying attention as he did so. He was warming up, for the most part. It would be about fifteen minutes before Yakov came, and then he could expect Yurio on the ice with him within the hour. But for this brief span right here, Yuuri was on the ice alone.

After a few more loops, Yuuri sped up a little, and concentrated on launching into a clean triple axel. He landed it, and kept himself steady. Good, good. He was in a decent frame of mind today, apparently. He was going to be steady on his feet. Yuuri concentrated on pushing himself a little faster into the next one, and pulled his limbs closer to his body. Mentally he counted the rotations - and ended up stepping out of the landing as soon as he touched the ice.

But he didn’t fall. He’d been about three quarters of a rotation off of what a quad axel would have to be. Yuuri went through the process another three times before he realized that Yakov was at the edge of the rink, watching him. An odd pink tinge colored his cheeks as he skated another loop and then stepped off the ice for water.

“You got close on that last one.”

Yuuri made a noncommital noise. Close wasn’t good enough. “A half turn off.” He corrected after he finished drinking more than half the bottle. “How long before I’m joined?”

“Half an hour, give or take. Then Yuri will be here.”

Yuuri nodded absently. Yuri and then Mila if he was remembering the schedule well enough. And Viktor himself could make an appearance at any point in the process, so it was probably a good idea to transition into normal practice anyway. But first he’d try just one more quad. Wordlessly Katsuki rose and slipped back onto the ice - he skated a half circuit before picking up speed as he had been and launching himself into the air, counting rotations in his head again. Hnn. Barely a quarter of a turn off, but his landing was shaky and he’d had no choice but to step out of it to avoid falling.

Yuuri went back to skating tame loops. He wasn’t pleased, exactly, with his progress on it, but it was enough for the day. Later, he’d worry about continuing practicing. Later when there wasn’t such a narrow span of time before he would be joined by fellow skaters. This was something he wasn’t ready to share - and until he was ready to share with the others, Yakov would remain the only one aware of what he was doing in these early morning practices. They were rarer than Yuuri liked, but of course, it was difficult to find time to come to the rink when Viktor wasn’t with him.

“You’re here early, Katsudon.”

Yuuri snorted. “Good morning, Yuri.”

Yuuri was thankful that he could at least mostly trust Yakov to keep a secret, even from the other skaters. It made sense, he supposed, given Yakov had long supported multiple skaters who occasionally did compete in the same brackets. If Yakov wanted each skater to rise and fall by their own merits, then he had to be capable of not sharing the exact same information between them.

Now, if only every morning would go as smoothly as this one had.

* * *

 

Days flew by, and before they knew it, it was time for Rostelecom Cup. It was over in Moscow, which wasn’t nearly such a trip from St. Petersburg as it had been from Hasetsu. Yuuri wasn’t skating, but he would be present at the event to cheer on Yuri and Viktor both - which honestly had never been in question.

“You look tired.” Yuuri commented as they settled into their hotel room for the evening.

Viktor didn’t respond immediately instead he ended up flopping onto his side on the bed. Yuuri seemed to take that as a response all it’s own, and settled down beside him. “Did you want to order in tonight or…?” Yuuri asked carefully after several moments of companionable silence.

“Mm…” Viktor didn’t really answer immediately. “I’d like that.” Just the two of them - peaceful, and it would keep them safely inside, lowering the likelihood that they’d run into someone… undesirable.

“Could see if Chris is up for joining us?” Yuuri sounded almost hopeful - obviously trying to do something that would lighten the mood. Viktor, predictably, was concerned about their season being disrupted again. But Yuuri suspected the best way to combat that was going to be to stay with friends. … And if he let his concern rule them this season, Yuuri suspected it wouldn’t be the best year for either of them.

It was strange, for Yuuri, to be the calm one. But, well, one of them had to have it under control.

"I’ll text him.” Viktor agreed after a moment or two of thought.

It was an hour or so later when the three of them were settled in the hotel room, with a movie playing on the television screen. As Yuuri had hoped, Chris seemed to be able to engage Viktor enough to make him come to life.

Eventually the movie ended, and Chris left them to their own devices. “Hm?” The syllable was clearly a question from Yuuri, as Viktor stared at his phone screen for a moment.

“Oh, just Yakov reminding me of public practice in the morning. … The usual.”

Yuuri supposed even if Viktor had been skating for this long, it was still a good idea to remind him of important things. Yuuri had noticed before that Viktor tended to be a little forgetful, at times.

* * *

Watching Viktor interact here at Rostelecom was enlightening. Yuuri hadn’t really had a chance to get a feel for the way he really interacted with other skaters, before. On the rare occasion they were in a qualifier together - only once, that Yuuri could remember, actually, that was the Cup of China the year before the disastrous banquet that had sealed their fate. That was an event. Of course, Viktor had been so sick that his coach should have kept him off the ice but that was… hm. Actually, Yuuri almost wondered if Viktor remembered that, in hindsight.

Maybe he’d ask later, in a round about sort of way. But not right now.

Anyway, the point was, it was interesting watching him interact with his competitors and fans because he was so unfailingly polite and encouraging. Yuuri found himself wishing, just a little, that he had half of Viktor’s rhetorical grace at times like this. Sure, he had his faults, his moments when things came out wrong but- this was precisely the sort of thought train that Viktor would frown at him about. With that particular reminder he turned his attention to the rink where Yuri was taking the ice.

It was going to be quite the season. Yuuri had known that all along, but watching the younger skater on the ice really drove the point home.

“It’s going to be an interesting season, hm?” Viktor seemed to reappear beside him then. Yuuri laughed softly. “I was just thinking that, actually.” He admitted mildly. “You take the ice next, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Come on then, we should join Yakov before he bites your head off.”

Viktor laughed shortly, but nodded his agreement and Yuuri led the way.

Yakov said only a little before leaving them at rinkside to go wait for Yuri at the kiss and cry.

"I just hope this goes better than regionals.”

Yuuri snorted. “It will.” Confidently. Gently he kissed the back of Viktor’s hand. “Wow your fans, Vitya.” He held his hand out for Viktor’s guards as the older skater stepped out onto the ice. The crowd was, predictably, excited to see Viktor back on the ice.

The crowd noise was loud enough at first, that he didn’t hear the first few notes of Young and Beautiful - but Viktor did, clearly, since he started moving of his own volition at the center of the ice.

“Katsuki, what do you think of Nikiforov’s performance so far this season?”

… Press always had the most irritating timing. “He’s worked very hard to make a comeback this season. I look forward to skating on the same ice as him. I look forward to the end of the season, no matter the outcome.”

“At regionals -”

Yuuri gave the reporter an extremely bland look. “Regionals had extenuating circumstances, as anyone who has been paying attention is aware.” His voice was chilly. “I’m not answering any questions along these lines.”

“So you’re registered with the ISU as Nikiforov’s co-coach. Do you really feel qualified to act in such a capacity?”

Yuuri released a slow breath before returning his attention to the ice. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go that way.” Yuuri gestured towards the rink exit, and the kiss and cry.

“It went well.” Yuuri murmured, Viktor nodded a hair.

“Not my best score.”

“No, but you’ll be going into the free skate in first.”

“Yurio is in second.”

“Yes and the two of you will battle it out valiantly.” Yuuri sounded amused. “And both of you will make it to the finals, too.” It was clear the Japanese skater believed that.

 

* * *

“So what got you into skating originally?” Viktor asked rather abruptly as the two of them sat rink side, watching the wave warm up.

“Oh, um.” Yuuri bit at his lip thoughtfully, a slight pink tinge to his cheeks. “You see, it was Minako’s idea at first. Sending me to the rink with some of the other kids - you met Yuuko - and getting me on the ice that way. I might… not have stuck with it though.” He looked at Viktor for a moment, obviously trying to figure something out, before looking away again. “I, uh, Yuuko was a big fan, of yours, I mean. And it was only a matter of time before she made me watch you skate. It was um, Europeans, in Sofia, the first time.”

“I was sixteen that year.”

“Mhm. Skating to Violet Fairy in that black costume.”

“You have quite the memory.”

“It left an impression.” Almost defensively.

“Oh Yuu~ri!"

Which, of course, only served to make him blush more clearly. “After that things just sort of… happened. I kept dancing, but I focused harder on my skating with Yuuko. Kiddie stuff, copying well known skaters to learn how transitions worked. Eventually…” He shrugged. “You know the rest.” A pause and then he shook his head. “Or, well, most of it at least. You probably don’t know that my first year at the Grand Prix was fueled almost solely by wanting to skate at the same level, on the same ice as you. It went disasterously, but there it is.”

It was more than he’d ever meant to admit and yet… somehow it felt right. Cerulean eyes watched him for a moment, still thoughtful. “Not so. Everything that happened that year, led to this.” A small, raw smile.

“Yeah, I guess it did.” A pause, thoughtful, and then, “Do you remember the Cup of China from that year?”

“Not well.” Viktor admitted sheepishly. “Why?”

“No reason.”

“But-”

Yuuri cleared his throat. “Your waves warm up is starting.”

Viktor huffed and gave the Japanese skater a look that clearly indicated that this wasn’t over. But he left to do his warm up.

It seemed to take far too long before it was time for Viktor to take the ice - last, of course. The first bars of A Thousand Years began to play throughout the arena. Yuuri had seen this program before, but he couldn’t help watching intently from the sidelines. _How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?_ Viktor’s first jump of the program was a triple toe loop - nothing fancy, but he glided gracefully into a series of spins that almost took Yuuri’s breath away.

_I have died every day waiting for you._ For a moment, their gazes met across the ice, Viktor was skating through a step sequence that _Yuuri_ had come up with, almost on accident. He seemed to reach out in that moment, before gliding through another combination spin and launching into a quad flip. _Every breath, every hour has come to this._

The center of the routine was slow and graceful, as Viktor skated his story to life. _Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years ._ Viktor continued through the end, coming to rest just off center on the rink.

“I’m never going to get used to the way you take my breath away with that program.”

Viktor had just enough modesty to look slightly abashed at that before flashing Yuuri a large smile.

Gold and silver at Rostelecom cup would put Viktor and Yuri in good shape as far as qualifying for the Grand Prix final. Plisetsky was predictably annoyed by his placement, even if it was, objectively, a good place to start qualifiers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training and a little down time before the next competition.

“So I think the crowd liked the gala.”

“I told you.” Yuuri seemed pleased to hear it all the same. “But the real question is if you enjoyed performing it.”

“I did.” Viktor confirmed immediately. “It wasn’t a song I would have come up with on my own but I really did enjoy it.”

Yuuri smiled a bit. Yes, he’d thought _Escape to the Stars_ would be suitable, somehow, with Viktor’s theme. And the older skater had wanted something non-traditional for this year. The song Yuuri had managed to dig up was that, at the least.

And they had managed to create Yuuri a match for his Gala. Never mind they had a special treat designed for when they both skated on the same event. Which really just meant Yuuri needed to work that much harder to meet Viktor in the Grand Prix finals. But he’d done well last year, and Yuuri was confident he could do it again.

Just as long as his nerves didn’t manage to get the better of him during his qualifiers he’d be fine. It was easier said than done, perhaps. But… he’d done it before, and he could do it again. It was that simple. And as long as he had Viktor beside him, he could manage. Yuuri knew that.

“Alright, alright. Go through Rise one more time for me and then we can work on our expo for the finals.”

“Okay.” Yuuri skated back to the center of the rink at that after passing his water bottle back to Viktor.

The older skater watched his younger charge with a critical eye, his expression thoughtful. Yuuri’s form was improving, and he was clearly more comfortable skating this piece than he had been even at the Gala they’d debuted it at. Viktor was concerned, only a little, about the younger skater’s nerves possibly managing to make things that much harder for him. But… they’d gotten through it last year. Yuuri had been able to reach his goal last year, and Viktor had faith that it could only get _better_ this year.

Certainly the other skater was more confident in himself after taking silver at the Grand Prix finals, even if his anxiety would always manage to rear its head at the worst possible time. Yuuri had proven himself, Viktor remembered, and it wasn’t fair to doubt him after how far they’d come together.

Most of the jumps were clean, though that quad flip still needed a little help, in his opinion. There was time for that though, these were only the qualifiers. It didn’t have to be perfectly polished quiet yet, just _good enough._ He just had to make it to finals.

They’d worry about Finals when they got there.

As the program came to a close, Viktor took his own skate guards off and joined the younger man on the ice. Together they skated an easy loop around the ring, but no words were exchanged.

Perhaps they didn’t need words after all. After their circuit around the rink the both of them went to the center of the ice, coming to a halt in the middle facing one another. Yuuri’s arms were wrapped around his own body in what was almost a loose hug. His eyes remained steady on Viktor, breathing absolutely even.

Viktor’s pose involved one hand having two fingers pressed to his lips, while the other hung at his side, almost limp there. His body was shifted _just_ so, almost seductive, with his own attention centered resolutely on his partner.

The slightest of nods began the routine in earnest, as they began to move as one. Viktor skated a complex step sequence that involved weaving in and out of Yuuri’s path, they made it to the long side before Yuuri’s part began properly - his own step sequence driving him to flit in and out of Viktor’s way in turn, both parts requiring an intense amount of concentration to avoid a collision on the ice.

Eventually Yuuri broke from the weaving pattern, moving towards the center with a lead change and then a set of spins, which transitioned them back together, Viktor skating confidently backwards for a moment, reaching out a hand to Yuuri. Yuuri took that hand and reversed their positions, taking the lead as they looped towards the long side again. The first lift of the program involved a simple waist hold through a light spin, and when Yuuri set Viktor down, he reversed his own direction, pushing away from the older skater who gave chase.

It continued like that - a lift here, a twirl there. Spirals and spins and step sequences. There were no jumps in the gala piece that they had designed together, but it made up for that in the intensity of step sequences that they performed together. Besides - it was for their gala piece, and they could afford to focus on the _beauty_ of their performance without worrying about technical aspects.

Just as long as neither of them were injured. And that was, of course, what the training here was for. They came to a natural halt in the center of the ice, Yuuri loosely wrapped in Viktor’s arms, his back to the silver haired man’s chest. Instead of facing each other like the beginning, they looked the same way, as a unified front. It was another piece of _their_ story.

If the gala in the summer had been their beginnings, with one chasing after the other but the two starting as if unaware of each other, then this piece was their future, with their fates inextricably bound together.

“Still up for dinner tonight?” Yuuri asked quietly, after they’d returned to the rinkside and were changing out of their skates.

“Of course,” Viktor agreed, smiling widely.

* * *

Yuuri had the rink to himself again, though this time it was an evening session. Viktor was doing an interview along with Mila and Georgi, and while the Japanese skater would normally have gone to watch, he saw it as a good opportunity to practice. Viktor had agreed that that was probably a good idea because there was no sense in both of them losing ice time.

Yakov was watching him - an agreement between him and Viktor since two of the three skaters were plenty old enough to manage themselves at an interview. “You aren’t going to get any better skating tame loops, Katsuki.” Came the older man’s voice.

It was true, of course. He was long past the point where tame loops helped do anything but center him. “I was just finishing my warm up.” Yuuri responded when his path brought him passed the older coach. Then he pivoted and sped up before running through a step sequence from Rise and a few spins. After another half circuit he sped up again and launched himself into a double axel combined with a triple flip.

The landing was clean. The quad salcow was steady afterward as well. Okay, still in a good place mentally. Or at least, much better than he had been when he’d gotten on the ice originally. He allowed himself another circuit on the ice, bringing himself past Yakov, who hadn’t said anything else. That was when Yuuri sped up with purpose and threw himself into an axel, again. This time aiming for that elusive extra rotation.

A half turn off. _Damn._ Okay. It was fine, it didn’t matter. He shook his head slightly and skated until he reached the long side of the rink again and threw himself into the air. His brow wrinkled slightly in concentration as he counted the rotations. It was enough! The landing, on the other hand, was not. Yuuri touched the ice with one hand before losing his balance and falling.

“That was good. Skate it off. If you’re not hurt, do it again.”

Yuuri didn’t say anything in regards to the praise. It felt hollow - he’d done it, but he hadn’t kept his feet under him, so it wouldn’t matter in competition. Still, he had an idea of what it felt like if he was going to do it right, now.

Obediently Yuuri skated another full circuit, making sure he could move easily and that nothing was hurt more than marginally. It would do him no good to take a serious injury in training this close to the GPF.

Again. And again. And again.

Twice he successfully managed the rotations and but had to step out of the landing. The final attempt was another fall, and Yuuri swore under his breath. But turned to skating step sequences for the moment.

After a few moments of that, Yuuri skated to the edge of the rink to retrieve his water bottle and take a breather.

“You’re more consistent than you have been previously."

That was a complement from Yakov, he knew that. “Thank you.”

“If that continues, it will still take a bit longer for you to be consistent with the Axel, but you may well have it before the final.”

That was the idea. Yuuri nodded, accepting the comments.

“Remember to keep that landing leg steady. And don’t forget to shift your center of balance so you don’t have to step out of it so often.”

Another nod as Yuuri finished the water bottle.

“But no more quads tonight. Your stamina is good, but there is no sense in exhausting yourself completely.”

“Yes sir.”

Yuuri did a run through of Rise where he marked the jumps with singles and doubles before skating a lap or two for a cool down and getting off the ice for the evening.

* * *

“Are you going to sleep the day away?” Yuuri’s voice was gently teasing as he nudged Viktor awake. It was late for both of them - almost ten am, though not particularly _late_ in the grand scheme of things. It was an off day for them, they weren’t allowed at the rink on pain of Yakov yelling at them for overworking themselves.

The silver haired skater gave Yuuri a strange look, obviously trying to sort out what exactly it was that Yuuri was worried about getting up for.

“Come on, breakfast is ready.” Yuuri tugged on his hand, and Viktor allowed himself to be guided into the kitchen where a cup of coffee was already waiting beside a plate of still-hot food.

“After breakfast I was wondering if you’d like to go to one of the Museums around, since we’re not allowed to do anything in the studio or at the rink today.”

Blink. It was clear that such a thing hadn’t occurred to Viktor, but he nodded excitedly. “That sounds amazing.” His tone was genuine.

And so after breakfast they found themselves at the State Hermitage Museum, which Viktor was almost ashamed to admit he hadn’t been anywhere near since a school trip had brought him there.

It was a lot of fun, exploring the huge museum with Yuuri beside him carefully slipping through the exhibits and occasionally asking him what certain signs said, if they weren’t in english as well.

“The buildings are almost as beautiful as the exhibits.” Yuuri murmured.

Viktor smiled slightly at that. “Well, the buildings are all carefully maintained historical relics themselves.” He murmured. “The building we started out in is called the Winter Palace, and as it’s name indicates, it was once a residence of the Czar.”

Yuuri nodded slightly, taking in that piece of historical knowledge, but not offering further comment as he studied the piece in front of him now.

It was surprisingly nice, Viktor found, taking a day to themselves in his home to sight-see. This was just the sort of thing he had wanted to do when they’d come to the conclusion that Yuuri should train with him here in St. Petersburg and yet… he’d never actually _done_ that.

“We should do things like this more often,” Yuuri mentioned as they sat over dinner.

“Agreed.” Lightly, “I should have thought of it myself.”

But Viktor had never taken much time for himself, Yuuri supposed. And that was probably precisely why this hadn’t been something that had ever come up. Instead they’d generally spent their off days sleeping or talking their way through things instead of _doing_ them.

But, like the trip to the aquarium, this excursion to the museum served as a reminder to them both that in the end, their minds were fresher when they actually walked away from skating for a day or two.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So according to the outline that I finally finished between last chapter and now, we're looking at 18 chapters and an epilogue for 19 total. So that's a thing you now know.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo this took longer than expected but the chapter is finally done. It's a pretty tame chapter, and it's a little glossy because it's actually really hard for me to come up with a full program and type it out. Sorry ><

“Is something the matter?” Viktor asked, watching as Yuuri glared at his phone screen with a look that seemed to be channeled straight from Yuri, honestly.

“Nope.” His tone indicated to Viktor that there probably  _was_  but he also recognized it as a sign to let it go. Probably another round of threats then, Yuuri always got touchy when another one of them came in. Being honest, Viktor did as well, but… nothing had come of them yet. It was probably another attempt at shaking the anxious skater up before his performance. “Just going to finish blocking social media on my phone for the competition now.”

“That’s for the best.” Viktor agreed mildly. At least that way the worst of the backlash could be ignored, and Yuuri could continue focusing on what needed to be done here at the Cup fo China. It was frustrating that this was still going on, but so long as the threats were fruitless, there wasn’t a lot for it, it would seem. They just had to keep ignoring it.

And Viktor would hope that that was enough. And he would continue to believe that nothing was going to come of the threats because if he believed anything else, it would only get worse from here. Yuuri needed him to be steady and confident, and this season had been rough on them both already.

Of all the things he had anticipated facing this season … it’d been almost sixteen years since he’d seen the man, sixteen years since their last contact - why this season? Why now when he’d been at the top of the world for years and years before now?

If only he knew the answer to that, maybe he’d be less uncomfortable about going through with this season, but the reality is, he doesn’t know and there’s not much he can do but wait it out. He just hopes that if anything else comes to the surface it’s not more than the two of them can handle together.

Yuuri has proven him wrong in some ways, the Japanese skater is far steadier and stronger than Viktor would have guessed, remembering the anxious man who had met him in the onsen…the Russian still had no idea what he had done to earn such a devoted fiance. He had no idea how the years of isolating himself and dedicating himself so solely to skating had managed to give way to having someone standing beside him who wanted  _him_  as he was, not as the media had seen him for years. What he did know was that he had always craved someone who would stand beside him despite seeing beneath the media mask. And somehow the universe had deigned to grant him that.

He just hoped that nothing happened that ended up making Yuuri regret the decision to stay with him despite the threats. Viktor wasn’t sure what he’d do if something like that happened - he wasn’t sure if there was anything that _could_  be done, depending. But the threats hadn’t scared Yuuri away yet, and Viktor certainly couldn’t stomach the thought of  _pushing_  him away, even if the Russian wondered if he would be safer that way.

The thought of being without Yuuri was far too difficult to stomach that thought though.

“Let’s order in for dinner.” Yuuri murmured, drawing Viktor’s attention back at that moment. 

“Good idea.” Viktor latched onto the idea immediately, enjoying the chance to spend time with Yuuri - even alone - and also to get out of his own head to an extent. 

Yuuri seemed to sense at least a bit of that, because the Japanese skater’s hand lingered on Viktor’s arm soothingly for longer than it really needed to, as the pair of them studied the menu together.

* * *

Yuuri was skating in the middle of his group for short programs. It was a little disappointing to Viktor, if only because the Japanese skater tended to do better when he came at the end of the Short Programs because by then he’d had time to work out his nerves and had fallen into ‘whatever happens, happens’. That or at the very beginning, before he had time to get nervous. In the middle meant that he’d watch everyone before him, then have to watch everyone  _after_  him, waiting on edge to see if his score would be good enough to place well in the short programs.

On the other hand, if he went into the Free Skate in first, Viktor had to wonder if Yuuri would melt down the same way he had last year. It had worked out in the end, but… it was also  _so_  rough on Yuuri’s nerves when he was at the front of the pack for the second half. A mid-range placement would do them better, as long as Yuuri could make up for it with his free skate.

Cerulean eyes watched his fellow skater, thoughtful as Yuuri continued his methodical stretching. No, perhaps it didn’t matter  _where_  Yuuri actually ended up, in this competition. He was nervous, incredibly so, but there was something that was different this year, Viktor noticed. He wasn’t sure, at this precise moment, what that difference was. Except Viktor had a strong feeling that there was something up the Japanese skater’s sleeve. 

He didn’t know what it was, exactly, but after the quad Flip last year, Viktor had a hard time imagining Yuuri didn’t have  _something_  planned. The Russian skater hoped it ended up working out in his favor this year. Still, Yuuri only had to worry about making it to the Grand Prix this year, that was his goal and concern. As long as he kept his eye on that, he’d be fine.

Viktor had faith in him. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have continued coaching the Japanese skater. He wouldn’t have been so upset when Yuuri suggested they  _end this_ at last years GPF. Ah, but they’d come a long way since then, he thought.

“We should go rinkside,” Viktor mentioned, standing a little off from the skater still. “You’re next.”

“Right.” Yuuri rose, taking the offered hand easily as he did so. He went ahead and shed his warm up gear, leaving the costume he’d already debuted at the Gala bare, and then he followed Viktor towards the rink’s edge, still concentrating on his breathing. This wasn’t the time to let his nerves get the better of him. 

He concentrated on Viktor’s presence beside him right up until he was skating towards the center of the rink.

The starting position of Rise had him crouched low, head hung forward, and his torso shifted back and forth slightly, exaggerating the movements of his breathing as if he were struggling already. One hand was stretched out directly in front of him, and then as the music started that hand went vertical and he rose from the crouch in an explosive movement that sent him straight into an upright spin. It was marginally different from the opening at the gala, as getting that spin right consistently was  _hard_  but he’d finally gotten it down in the intervening time.

The program went suspiciously smoothly, Yuuri decided as he stilled in the ending position for it. No major faults, he’d only had to step out of a single jump’s landing. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was a good start to the season if only he could keep from screwing it up.

…Now was really not the time to think about screwing it up, Yuuri told himself firmly as he skated to the edge of the rink to join Viktor. 

“Yuuri that was amazing!” Viktor’s excitement, as usual, was slightly infectious, and the Japanese skater found himself smiling at the Russian.

“Thanks.” He murmured after a moment or so, still smiling at the other brightly. They sat together under the camera’s eye in the kiss and cry, fingers laced together because they were far beyond caring if others understood their relationship. 

“Yuuri you’re in first!”

“With half the field left to skate.” The dark haired skater pointed out mildly.

“Don’t worry about them.” Viktor said earnestly. “Your total was more than high enough to put you in the top five for the free skate, you’ll see.”

Sometimes Yuuri wished that he had even a fraction of Viktor’s confidence. Other times, he was just glad that Viktor had enough for the both of them.

* * *

 

It was as Viktor had predicted. Yuuri was going into the free skate in second place. Yuri’s short program had beaten his out by a small margine. It wasn’t surprising, not to Yuuri. It did, of course, set his nerves on edge as he paced around the waiting area.

Viktor tried several times to get him to calm down but it seemed fruitless. The silver haired skater wondered if they were going to have a repeat of the year before. He hoped not. … On the other hand, it had been good enough, and Yuuri had done just fine in the end. So maybe a repeat wouldn’t be so bad, though if he could avoid making him cry again, that would be for the best.

"Yuuri please. Would you sit before you wear a hole in the floor?”

Sort of begrudgingly, the other skater sat down next to Viktor. 

“Breathe with me.” Calm and easy, coaxing. It worked, Viktor noticed. The other focused on him, matching their breathing as well as he could until his own had slowed to something more normal. 

Viktor kept him there in the locker room for the majority of the competition. They could hear the announcers, but it was easier to keep Yuuri’s attention and easier to get him to stay in the realm of calm with fewer eyes on them.

“It’s time.” He murmured. Yuuri was still strung slightly too-tight but it was the best he could manage with the time they’d had. They spent one last moment at the edge of the rink, and Yuuri skated to the center of the ice.

Yuuri tried to maintain the feeling of Viktor beside him. It wasn’t hard, really, they’d skated this piece together so many times he could practically sense the older skater’s presence on the ice with him. And he thought… he thought that was the effect he wanted for the free skate anyway.

One hand raised above his head dramatically, his head tilted up such that his gaze aligned roughly with the trajectory of his arm. The other hand was down by his side and slightly back behind him as if reaching for something that wasn’t there. 

As the first bars of music were heard through the arena, Yuuri pushed off into a step sequence. His motions told rather loudly of his ballet influence, but that was indeed the point. Careful movements as he twisted his body and swirled across the ice - seeming to flit in and out of the path of a skater that did not exist.

From the step sequence he spiraled easily across the ice, throwing himself into the first jumps of the program, a double flip that led into a triple axel. The words wove around him as he continued his path across the ice. Gliding through a spin sequence and then into another step sequence that had just a little of Viktor’s influence in it.

It was easier than he expected, finding himself almost confused as he stilled in the ending pose of the program. He wasn’t sure exactly how he’d done, as the entire program was a haze. That was… well, some of his best programs had come out of similar hazes, but then again so had some of his worst.

The crowd seemed to be thrilled though he noted in an almost detached fashion.

Almost as soon as he stepped off the ice, he was clinging to Viktor’s hand slightly too tightly, grounding himself in reality because he still wasn’t sure what had happened beyond him finishing the program.

Viktor was talking about how amazing it had gone, but said something about being surprised he’d swapped that jump out for a quad flip because it wasn’t really in the original plans - not that he was complaining but it had been something Yuuri decided on to make the program less similar. Had he really…? Well if Viktor said he had then he didn’t have much of a choice but to believe it but…

“Are you okay?” Viktor had clearly been trying to get his attention, and failing.

“Uh… I will be?” 

It was clearly not the answer that Viktor had expected, because the older male frowned slightly but nodded. “Just a bit longer, and we can take a breather before the medal ceremony.”

Yuuri nodded. Right, the medal ceremony. Of course Viktor was confident they’d be needed at it.

Viktor was right, it seemed. He was in first, which meant that even if Yuri did better than him, he’d take silver.

A good start to the Grand Prix circuit. Relief flooded him but didn’t take the edge off of the buzzing in his head.

* * *

 

Yuuri ended up taking gold in the Cup of China, to his surprise. After watching the recording of his skate afterward, the skater understood why. Despite mentally checking out during it, his body had done a phenomenal job of following through with the intended program, as if some part of him had channeled hours upon hours of skating it, and skating to that song in general, and poured it all out on the ice at once.

The affect had been stellar, and Yuuri wasn’t sure how he was going to follow that going forward this season. On the other hand, as long as he did reasonably okay in his next competition then he didn’t have to worry about following it, necessarily, until Finals. And during the finals what he’d turned into a quad flip instead of his quad salchow would be a quad Axel. At least, that was the goal.

“Do you remember when you asked what I remember about last year’s Cup of China?” Viktor started rather abruptly, pulling Yuuri’s attention out of his own mind, as they settled in to wait for the Gala to start.

“I remember, yes.”

“Why?”

Oh, he hadn’t ever explained that had he. “Odd time for you to decide you want the answer.” Yuuri pointed out mildly.

“I just remembered the conversation.”

“Well you won gold with a fever of like 39 or 40.”

“Now that I remember, Yakov lectured me for days for not telling him I was sick.”

Yuuri could see that, now that he was more familiar with the gruff coach. It hadn’t taken him all that long to figure out that the older coach genuinely cared about Viktor. Thus it wasn’t a jump to realize that the coach would not be happy about Viktor risking his health by exposing himself to the ice in such poor condition.

“I was just curious because we actually met that competition. Albeit briefly. It wasn’t exactly memorable.” No, it had mostly consisted of Yuuri realizing there was something seriously wrong and sending one of his Rink mates over to check on him.

“You must have been the one that Georgi said sent him to check on me.” After a moment or two of consideration.

Yuuri nodded fractionally. “For the record, if you ever try to skate with a fever that high again, I’m going to bench you myself.”

“Says the guy who skated at Worlds like that.”

Yuuri laughed. “You make a fair point. We should both agree not to do that again.”

“Agreed.” Viktor murmured brushing his lips against the back of Yuuri’s knuckles. The Japanese skater flushed slightly.

“You two are gross.” Yuri informed them with an eye roll. “What the hell is your Gala this year anyway?”

“It’s called Heavensent.”

Yuri rolled his eyes after getting his answer and walked off, presumably to get ready for his own performance.

For the moment Yuuri was content to sit there, half leaned against Viktor and watch Christophe, who’d placed in third, skate through his gala piece. If anyone had told him this is where he was going to be a year ago, he’d have probably had a nervous fit, but here they were. Here they were a year later, and everything was still almost smooth sailing.

If only they could finally shake off the last of the threats, then everything would be golden.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a writing tumblr if you want to check it out. I'm over at [Aerislei's Fics](https://aerisleis-fics.tumblr.com/)! You'll get updates about different fics and sometimes random snippets from what I'm writing currently.


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